Centipede Horror (1982) review

 

 

CENTIPEDE HORROR 1982 (CURSE OF THE CENTIPEDE)

 

Michael Miu Kiu Wai (Pak Wai Lun), Yau Pui Ling (Kay Pak), Margaret Lee Din Long (Yuk Chee), Wang Lai (Mother Pak), Hussein Hassan (Evil Sorcerer), Stephen Yip Tin Hang (La Rong)

 

Directed by Keith Lee (Li Pai Ling)

 

The Short Version: Unusually well-crafted, low-budget and independently made HK horror is sure to frighten centi-phobes, gross out casual viewers, and possibly bore to death some fans expecting a more rapidly-paced trash-fest. The script brings together EXORCIST-style possession, spell-battling child ghosts, reanimated chicken skeletons, a cobra bursting from a man's head, and a puke-pourri of a dozen live centipedes being thrown up in the closing minutes. Ho Meng Hua set the BLACK MAGIC benchmark in 1975 and Keith Lee's CENTIPEDE HORROR both carries on, and expands, the cursed tradition.

 

 

Kay Pak decides to take a week-long vacation to Malaysia with a friend, despite her mother's warnings that their dead grandfather forbade any family members from going there. Initially refusing to let her go, her brother, an executive running the family business, recommends she wear a protective medallion in the hopes that would pacify their mother should she find out. Out jogging, the two girls stop at a food stall for a bowl of grass jelly sold by a sinister-looking man. Unknown to her at the time, Kay leaves her headband behind and has a deadly curse placed on her that takes effect once she removes the medallion. Kay's brother, Wai Lan, flies to Malaysia to find out what happened and watches her die a brutal death. Learning of ancient curses and witnessing bizarre exorcisms, Wai also discovers that a terrible act was committed by his grandfather 50 years earlier that is responsible for the Centipede Horror plaguing his family and anyone close to him. 

 

Ho Meng Hua set the Asian Curse movie trend in motion with 1975s seminal BLACK MAGIC. The movie was designed to play on people's fears and superstitious beliefs of backwoods curses lurking in the wilds of Malaysia, Borneo and other places far from the modernized confines of Hong Kong. A sequel was released the following year that expanded on the exploitation potential of the original, but kept the bulk of the action occurring in the city of Hong Kong. Other films aiming to mine the same formula came, but differed in that the crew would film extensively in foreign locales--taking greater advantage of the surroundings. Particularly in the independent outings, the tribal rituals of these isolated settings were expounded upon for further authenticity.

 

 

By 1981, gritty filmmaker Kuei Chi Hung took Ho's template even further with the movie BEWITCHED. In that film, the curse is placed upon the victim in the foreign land and is activated once they return home--leading to the obligatory battle between good and evil wizardry. In Ho's movies, what was behind the placement of the curses was love, sex and the desire for both. For these later movies, it was generally applied out of revenge for either a past transgression or a desecration of a sacred place.

 

CENTIPEDE HORROR brings both men's techniques together for an interesting take on the formula. Director Keith Lee (Li Pai Ying) films in a Chinese style, but with an obvious Anglo influence. Many Chinese horror films end like morality plays. CENTIPEDE's shock ending is traditionally seen in American horror pictures of the time. 

 

Furthermore, there's no manic pace like in the Curse movie classic THE BOXER'S OMEN (1983); so that may put some viewers off expecting a non-stop ride of grotesque shenanigans. Historically, the film's few reviews during its prior languishing in bootleg purgatory gave the impression it was that type of film. Instead, Li builds his story, periodically punctuating it with moments of gross-out shock and horror till the final 10-15 minutes when the title insects lead an assault on our hero and his possessed girlfriend. The final moments are as spectacularly revolting as anything seen in all your finer carnival sideshow attractions.

 

 

The gore is crude but will likely churn the stomachs of even the heartiest viewer. For example, one sequence with a fully naked, spell-entranced woman has the victim with what looks like a fried omelet glued to her belly. When the rural necromancer frees the woman of the black magic plaguing her, she pukes up blood and several enormous scorpions. 

 

 

The multitude of wizards are as much oddities as the spells they cast and eradicate. You have the familiar Taoist priests popularized in movies like MR. VAMPIRE (1985). There's a sequence where the evil sorcerer takes control of Yuk Chee's body. While a priest attempts to exorcise her from another location, her soul leaves her body to battle the Chinese padre. Then there's the backwoods alchemists--one of whom steals the corpses of children to employ their souls in the fight against evil; while another spellcaster uses a quintet of chicken skeletons to duel with the main villain--causing a cobra to rip through the top of his head. 

 

 

Director Li Pai Ying was an underrated talent whose career was far too short. He worked at Shaw Brothers the bulk of his time in the industry, joining the company in 1973. Li's first job was reportedly an un-credited gig as a script supervisor on Chu Yuan's HOUSE OF 72 TENANTS (1973). He then became Chu's AD, collaborating with him on numerous swordplay movies. Li began directing his own in late 1978. While CENTIPEDE HORROR is Li's first completed movie as a director, his actual first directing job was a movie whose original title was 'Sword of Old Eagle'  before becoming 'The Eagle's Sword'. An ambitious Wuxia feature in the spirit of Li's mentor Chu Yuan, it was promoted as being about "Gods of the Sword, Swordsmen, and Slaves of the Blade". By April of 1980, the movie remained unfinished. Lee was still with the company, writing the script for the underrated Kung Fu picture KID FROM KWANGTUNG (1982) in the interim.

 

 

While 'The Eagle's Sword' remained sheathed, Li formed Nikko International Productions and Films (HK) Limited (aka Sunshine Film Production Company) with former radio actor and producer Stephen Chan Chue Kwong (Chen Shu Guang). The duo financed two films (the other being RED SPELL SPELLS RED) before closing down. Upon completion of CENTIPEDE HORROR (1982), Li Pai Ying returned to Shaw's in late 1983 and set about finishing his long-in-the-making swordplay adventure. Questions arose as to whether or not the film would be outdated considering it was shot several years earlier. Li had re-shot most of the movie and retained old footage where necessary.

 

 

By the time the film was completed, the production had utilized three cinematographers and five martial arts choreographers including Yuen Wah and Yuen Bun. Unfortunately, Shaw Brothers was nearing the end of their time as a producer of motion pictures. The movie bears a copyright date of 1984 but was never screened in Hong Kong. It did see a theatrical release in Taiwan in 1985. The film was released in HK for the first time on DVD in 2007. Sporadically active in the industry from the late 80s onward, Li would die at his home on July 22nd, 2020. He was 68 years old.

 

Top-billed Margaret Li Yen Ping (Lee Tin Long; Li Yan Ping) steals the show in the last few minutes alone. Called upon to puke up around a dozen live centipedes, it's one of the most amazingly disgusting things you'll ever see in your life. It's all the more astonishing in that Margaret Li is the daughter of famous film director, the revered Li Han Hsiang. Coming from a prestigious family only to barf up a mouthful of bugs in an early acting role is truly dedication to ones craft. 

 

In the late 70s, her father sent her off to Great Britain to study fashion design. A four-year tenure amounted to only a few months. Ms. Li returned to HK to work behind the camera on her father's movies like THE ADVENTURES OF EMPEROR CHIEN LUNG (1977). She would also experiment in being an assistant director to Mou Tun Fei on his 'Gun' segment of THE CRIMINALS V: THE TEENAGER'S NIGHTMARE (1977). Her fashion sense was put to use in the costume department for her father's pictures such as THE GHOST STORY and RETURN OF THE DEAD (both 1979) to name two. 

 

In 1977, the 15 year-old had been dating rising superstar Danny Li Hsiu Hsien (Danny Lee) during the year-long filming of THE MIGHTY PEKING MAN (1977). The two were often in the papers for their off-screen drama. Unsurprisingly, the relationship didn't last and Margaret eventually found herself in front of the camera as well. Incidentally, one such role was in Keith Lee's long-gestating, above-mentioned swordplay film that eventually became known as THE SUPREME SWORDSMAN (1984).

 

If leading actor Michael Miu Kiu Wai looks familiar, you likely know him as one of TVB's Five Tigers--along with Andy Lau, Kent Tong, Tony Leung, and Felix Wong. Miu was also a fixture in some of Hong Kong's cop and gangster movies of the late 80s and throughout the 1990s. Films such as HERO OF TOMORROW, THE DRAGON FAMILY (both 1988), FINAL RUN (1989), FATAL TERMINATION, THE OUTLAW BROTHERS, MAGIC COP (all 1990), and THE TIGERS (1991). 

 

That last title is one of the movies starring all five of the group together in a dark and gritty plot about five CID officers who foolishly decide to steal money taken in a drug bust. The gangster they took it from shows up to blackmail the cops and lead their lives into ruin. The film ends with a battle inside a mall and a depressing coda that will stay with you long after the movie has finished. Shaw stars Chen Kuan Tai, Liang Chia Jen and Lo Lieh have supporting roles.

 

Michael Mui was a graduate of TVB's Actors Training Academy and became a popular small-screen star. He would meet his future wife, Jaime Chik Mei Chun, on the 20-episode Fantasy-Drama YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (1982). The two would appear in movies together as well. The role of Yang Kang in the 1983 TVB series LEGEND OF THE CONDOR HEROES is considered among his best work. Miu also had a primary role in MEN FROM THE GUTTER (1983), an underrated modern-day crime thriller from Shaw Brothers written by CENTIPEDE's Keith Lee.

 

Although her part in the movie is small, actress Wang Lai adds some gravitas to Lee's tale of Chinese voodoo. In her day, she was a popular, in-demand actress, appearing in over 200 movies. She entered the industry in 1951 and worked for virtually every company during Asian Cinema's Golden Age. Known as the 'Actress with a Thousand Faces', she won the Golden Horse Award for Best Supporting Actress multiple times; the last being for 1992s PUSHING HANDS. She performed in similar capacity in Kuei Chi Hung's delirious CURSE OF EVIL (1982), a movie originally started by Wang Feng (Wong Fung) and given a radical alteration in tone when Kuei took over. Wang Lai retired in 1992 for health reasons. She died aged 89 in 2016.

 

 

The man playing the vicious black magic sorcerer is Hussein Hassan. He's the lead conjurer in Kuei Chi Hung's excellent spooker BEWITCHED (1981). He's something of a tragic character in CENTIPEDE HORROR in that his descent into evil is due to a tragedy occurring 50 years earlier involving the Pak family, who have since become wealthy over the years. We learn that Pak Wai's grandfather committed adultery, leading to a 'crime of passion'--style double-murder; one of the victims being his pregnant wife. Pak decides the best course of action is to try and cover up his crime by setting fire to his house with his now dead mistress's screaming infant in the room. To make the crime even more horrendous, the entire village goes up in flames. The father of the dead child swears revenge and becomes a powerful sorcerer, awaiting the day his vengeance can be set into motion. 

 

Hussein Hassan appeared in virtually the same role in the following years RED SPELL SPELLS RED (1983); and disappeared from the industry after one last known credit a decade later.

Keith Lee was a talented filmmaker who never got to fully show his capabilities at length. His small body of work does show what could've been a good career if he'd further explored directorial avenues beyond the three movies that bear his name. If ever there's a list of the greatest Asian Horror Movies, surely somewhere lurking among them would be the creepy-crawly clas-sick, CENTIPEDE HORROR.

This review is representative of the Error 4444 Limited Edition blu-ray. Specs and extras: new 2K restoration of the uncut version from the OCN (Original Camera Negative); 1080p 1.85:1 widescreen; animal cruelty-free version; featurette on the future Cat III rating; CENTIPEDE HORROR censored and uncensored comparison; teaser and trailer (not original but newly made from Error 4444); Mandarin and Cantonese audio; new English and Chinese subtitles; running time: 01:34:58

 

 

35 Years On the North Shore: A Look Back at the Cult Classic With Director William Phelps & Actor John Philbin

 

Thirty-five years ago,  NORTH SHORE (1987), a small movie geared to the so-called burgeoning 'teenage market' was first released in theaters with little fanfare; although it had surfing at the core of its plot, it initially failed to make a huge splash (pardon my pun) at the box-office. Did I say initially? Yeah, for that lukewarm reception did not keep it from growing into a bonafide cult movie all over the globe. Apparently the moment its fledgling fans in the US, Japan, Australia, South Africa, France, Mexico, Indonesia, Portugal and Brazil started to make themselves known after continuous showings of said feature on broadcast television, VHS rentals in both big video stores chains and neighborhood mom-&-pop stores.

 

Here in Brazil, considering the population was, and remains, smaller than in the US (as well as the number of moviegoers), it proportionally proved to be more successful than in North America during its theatrical run. Just so you readers can have an idea, a Brazilian surfing romantic dram-edy called MENINO DO RIO--translating it from the Portuguese language--BOY FROM RIO--was one of the 5 biggest box-office hits of 1982 in the country; and that was going up against RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981), among other international blockbusters. 

 

From 1985 to 1988, a Brazilian Made For TV series called 'Armação Ilimitada'--about a duo of surfers who are are into extreme sports like Motocross Racing, Hang-gliding and sharing the same girlfriend, was also top-rated (actor André de Biase had also starred in  Menino do Rio) and may have paved the way for surfing-themed movies crossing over here from niche products to the mainstream.

 

 

As for renting NORTH SHORE at a local video store, I recall being put on a reservation list in early 1988 so I could get to watch it subtitled (on Brazilian TV, English-language movies were presented in dubbed versions). The attendant called me five days later telling the movie was there for me to pick it up.

 

NORTH SHORE's premise revolves around 'Rick Kane--played by Matt Adler, seen in the also aquatic WHITE WATER SUMMER (1987) and in a supporting role in the beloved film TEEN WOLF (1985). He plays a kid who's learned how to surf by using the local wave tanks (you see, he's a resident of Arizona, a state that doesn't have its own border on the ocean due to California and Mexico being in the way). Finding himself at a Young Man's crossroads (his high-schooler days have just finished and he should be entering art school the following autumn), he uses his winning$ from a local competition to plunge into the North Shore of O'ahu to be a surfing pro. He gets off to a rough start, though: riding the ocean proves to be a lot different than commanding simulated waves; and not to mention getting robbed leaves him bereft of his belongings. (Insert: Matt Adler on the NORTH SHORE set)

 

Penniless and without a place to crash when night falls, he befriends Turtle--a mixture of goofy and tanned court jester and surfboard sander (played by scene-stealer John Philbin). Turtle's boss is an older fella called 'Chandler, a board designer with a salt-n-pepper beard/hairdo combo played with equal measures cool cynicism and paternal vibe by Gregory Harrison (star of the small-screen series TRAPPER JOHN, M.D.--a spin-off of both the film and the series MASH; the SciFi series LOGAN´S RUN--based on the classic feature of the same name; and the smart erotic thriller from 1991, BODY CHEMISTRY 2). Chandler takes Rick under his wing and teaches him how to see the sport as a sensorial and spiritual quest; a way to keep a firm belief that waves will come, even in tough times, filled with fresh possibilities for life and love, no matter whthe circumstances. (Insert: Gregory Harrison publicity for NORTH SHORE)

 

 

To keep the movie grounded in reality, some of the best men who ever stepped on a board were hired to bring verisimilitude to the proceedings: Mr. Pipeline himself Gerry Lopez (the Hawaiian actor seen in the masterpiece CONAN THE BARBARIAN as Subotai); Californians Laird Hamilton (who was in talks to replace Dolph Lundgren in a sequel to MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE around the time of this picture's release), Corky Carroll and Michael Ho; Australians Robbie Page (who plays Alex Rogers) and Mark Occhiluppo (whom I got to watch slaughter every body of water curling around him in Huntington Beach back in 1986 when I was an Exchange student living about 56 miles from Huntington Beach);  South African Shaun Tomson and a few others. (Top: Gerry Lopez third from right; insert: Laird Hamilton)

 

In the 1960s, future NORTH SHORE helmer William Phelps,  after being being photographed by King of Pop Art Andy Warhol for Warhol's book, 'Screen Tests', decided his place had to be BEHIND the camera and not IN FRONT of it. He enrolled at University of Southern California (USC) and got swept up by Beatlemania (he basically arrived from NYC to Los Angeles just in time for a Fab-Four performance at the Hollywood Bowl) . Phelps found himself invited for tea by a pal whom he'd met at Warhol's Studio (The Factory) and Brian Epstein (The Beatles' manager) when their limousine passed by him as he walked by the hotel they were staying at in Beverly Hills. (Insert: Director William Phelps then and now)

 

At the university, Phelps was introduced to two students who are among my favorite filmmakers ever--a duo that ended up becoming mentors of sorts to him: future co-producer of NORTH SHORE, Randal Kleiser--the future director of the incredible GREASE (1978), SUMMER LOVERS (1982) and the heart-wrenching drama from 1996, IT'S MY PARTY. The other being John Milius, director of the mythical 'surfing tribalism-as-a-sea-bound version of the Hell's Angels', BIG WEDNESDAY  (1978); and the first Conan motion Picture (actually, the only one that counts). Phelps'  senior thesis film, THE REVERSAL OF RICHARD SUN--a dystopian tale inspired by Shakespeare's Richard II--cast Milius as a co-lead.

 

 

The late Basil Poledouris (who did background acting work in a few episodes of the original STAR TREK TV series and went on to be a future composer of Milius' in CONAN THE BARBARIAN and Kleiser's THE BLUE LAGOON) did the scoring. Everytime I found out Basil, Pino Donaggio, Nino Rota, John Barry or Joe Renzetti were responsible for a movie soundtrack, I felt I had to go watch the films they'd composed for; their scoring is that superb. (Top: Director Randal Kleiser with Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins on the set of 1980s THE BLUE LAGOON)

 

Recently, I had the chance to chat with Mr. Phelps.

 

MARCO: When I refer to your film, I usually say "What Karate KID is for martial arts, NORTH SHORE is for riding giant waves". It's somewhat like 'The Surfing Kid'; it belongs to a sub-genre I go gaga over...the 'Rite of Passage' movie. And it is also about a search for a sense of Family and belonging.

 

WILLIAM PHELPS: Exactly. It's a kid's journey to find out what is important to him and in doing so, he enters a world he's never been to before yet had dreamed about all his life. 

 

M: How did the film come about?

 

WP: I had been hired to do a documentary about Big Wave surfers called WAVE WARRIORS with Shaun Tomson, Michael and Derek Ho which was shown during the early days of ESPN at a time when they did not have a lot of programming. While in Hawaii I recorded a guy who spoke in this surfing 'patois' who became the inspiration for the character of Turtle. I showed it to Randal Kleiser and we both took our fish-out-of-water boy who wants to surf without having ever been to the ocean to three different studios. We did all our pitches in one afternoon. Hours later we got the news Universal and Disney wanted to do it!!! (Insert: Matt Adler and Nia Peeples, the love interest in NORTH SHORE)

 

M: Matt had, a year prior to being cast by you, appeared in the whimsical FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR (1986), directed by your producer, R. Kleiser.

 

WP: Wow, you done your homework. Also, Gregory Harrison grew up on Catalina Island and he'd surfed since he was a small boy and was very good at it. And he had that soulful quality about him.

 

M: The trio of lead actors are really believable in the movie. What was the casting process like?  

 

WP: We needed actors who could at least get out on the water and take off with some style and grace. Actor Matt Adler has always been passionate about the sport and frequently goes to the beach to surf. 

 

M: Gregory Harrison brought this aura of a "surfing sage", which was perfect for the role of Chandler. 

 

WP: Yes, he did.

 

M: And Mr. Harrison also directed Second Unit, right (interviewer's note: scenes not necessarily requiring dialogue between the lead actors; mostly action scenes and the like)?

 

WP: You're right! He went out when he didn't have any lines. Greg got in the water with all the equipment and gear and coordinated lots of the surfing scenes helped by people like Gary Capo, Bruce Shurley and  Kevin Emmons. 

 

M: How about Turtle, played by John Philbin? He steals every scene he's in.

 

WP: Randal had worked with him in an earlier movie that wasn't successful and really wanted him in this one.

 

M: I saw that, GRANDVIEW USA (1984)! With Jamie Lee Curtis, Patrick Swayze and C. Thomas Howell. A cute film about small time lives dreaming Big Dreams.

 

 

WP: Exactly, Marco! But about John, I'd told Randal, "this guy doesn't look like a surfer. He doesn't have the body type and he's got pale skin".  He then told me, "He's like a Method Actor...he will BECOME the part, trust me." We sent John to Hawaii for about five weeks and by June of 1986, when the cameras were ready to roll, he had become the character and had the lingo down pat!  (Top: Matt Adler, John Philbin, Gregory Harrison)

 

M: Your choice of Peter Smokler as the DP was a very good one.

 

WP: Yeah, he had done so many documentaries. He could also shoot fast which helped our movie as we didn't have a big budget.

 

M: I think his most famous work at the time as a DP had been working on the ground-breaking mockumentary THIS IS SPINAL TAP (1984), directed by Rob Reiner. 

 

WP: Yes, that is correct.

 

M: Your movie refuses to die. It is so well made. It continues to resonate with people all these decades later. On top of that, it helped boost the tourism in that part of Hawaii. One cannot disassociate the popularity of NORTH SHORE with the influx of tourists from every corner of the globe to visit the region called THE North Shore;  I, for one,  have known a few Brazilian surfers who decided to visit, and even move there, after being enthralled by your film. 

 

WP: We've had special screenings celebrating the movie's Anniversaries throughout the years and we always get packed houses. Myself and Kleiser have been considering a sequel for a while... perhaps with Rick, and Turtle showing up in different parts of the film and then bringing in a new Generation of characters. (Insert: Gregory Harrison and John Philbin in a recent photo; both attended the 35th Anniversary showing in Santa Barbara, CA in August of 2022)

 

My conversation with actor John Philbin took place a couple of weeks later...

 

MARCO: What is your recollection of working on the movie NORTH SHORE, a picture that has just recently celebrated its 35th Anniversary?

 

JOHN PHILBIN: I first began surfing at the age of 12, but I was not surfing at the time I was chosen for the role of Turtle in the movie. I had been focused exclusively on acting. But this movie made get back into surfing; Gerry Lopez told me I shouldn't quit for I would be able to travel all over the world and do it for the rest of my life. He's my guru! (Insert: John Philbin on the NORTH SHORE set)

 

M: So surfing has been an important part of your life, huh?

 

JP: Oh yeah. Since that movie, I've been able to do both acting and coach other actors on how to surf in movies and television, and also teach surfing privately, and to groups of non-actors.  

 

M: John, many people spend their whole lives and cannot list ONE single film that are still relevant years after they were made; you are an integral part of FIVE movies that have become cult classics. You were a sect member in the original CHILDREN OF THE CORN (1984), based on Stephen King´s short story; Chuck in the farcical splatter-punk THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (1985); you were an extreme sports enthusiast who dabbles in bank robberies in the original POINT BREAK (1991); and you had a character part in the testosterone-filled western TOMBSTONE (1993); and of course, NORTH SHORE!

 

JP: Yes! Thank you very much!

 

When I congratulated Gregory Harrison on the film's 35th anniversary, and told him how much people liked his acting in the movie he replied with this message: 

 

 

GREGORY HARRISON: Thank you, Marco! I appreciate the kind comments. It is amazing how iconic the film has become around the surfing world. Glad to hear that is also true in Brazil. You made my day. Best to you!

 

 

Well, that's about it. I, for one, practiced a bit of both boogie and handplane boarding but the prospects of literally "sleeping with the fishes" or becoming  a shark's meal (and a crappy one at that), I guess, kept me from delving deeper into it. However, the interesting thing in the case of NORTH SHORE, it's not a requirement for one to have been initiated into the sport for he/she to be endeared by the film. Not even to be into any aquatic sports. All you need is to have a familiarity with the pains of growing up and the hardships of finding your place in this world. 

 

***A note from the interviewer: To contact Mr. Philbin for surfing classes, coaching or technical consulting on Surfing-themed movies, click HERE. ***

 

About Marco Freitas:

 

Marco has a B.A. in Film from Columbia College; Studied Screenwriting at UCLA; among some of his work, includes collaborating on Brazilian books on PLANET OF THE APES--´HOMEM NÃO ENTENDE NADA: ARQUIVOS SECRETOS DO PLANETA DOS MACACOS (by Saulo Adami); CASABLANCA: A CRIAÇÃO DE UMA OBRA-PRIMA (by Renzo Mora); low budget movies from the past 50 years-CEMITÉRIO PERDIDO DOS FILMES B (by César Almeida); PERDIDOS NO ESPAÇO (a book by Carlos Gomes); also some research for Robert Curti´s book RICCARDO FREDA: THE LIFE AND WORKS OF A BORN FILMMAKER and TONIGHT, ON A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE: WHEN TV SITCOMS SOMETIMES GOT SERIOUS (by Lee Gambin).