THE DIS LIST
For this entry of the low brow list reserved solely for those movies I find insufferable experiences, it's this asinine sequel to 2001 MANIACS, the so-so refurbishment of H.G. Lewis's classic, 2000 MANIACS (1964). Tim Sullivan and his conspirators surely had the best intentions, but what we have here is one of the all time worst ever. It's not even bad enough for a Razzie, or a Golden Turkey. This overlong 80 minutes of torturous cinematic constipation will strain the limits of one's intestinal fortitude. Yes, bowel movements are better than this movie. This is....
2001 MANIACS: FIELD OF SCREAMS 2009
Bill Moseley (Mayor George W. Buckman), Lin Shaye (Granny Boone), Christa Campbell (Milk Maiden), Katy Marie Johnson (Rome Sheraton)
"Directed by" Tim Sullivan
***WARNING! This review contains images of a sexual nature and bloody, but shoddily accomplished (well, what they could afford on a tattered shoestring of a budget) violence***
"I decided to make FIELD OF SCREAMS for the 14 year old version of me."--Director, Tim Sullivan
The above quote perfectly surmises what to expect from this amateurishly retarded, hopelessly shoddy movie that does in fact look to have been made by 14 year olds. For what its worth, I'm foregoing my usual synopsis and just say that the Maniacs go on the road by bringing the South to the North with a poverty row traveling carnival act. They trap a group of obnoxious, beyond brain dead young adults working on an even more impoverished reality show modeled on THE SIMPLE LIFE. The ribbing of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, a jab at our current President, a literal rendition of "Brokeback Mountain" and a cannibalistic recreation of The Last Supper is about as intelligent (I use the term lightly here) as this movie gets. Now on to the review, ya'll!
"Come get a taste of the old South...and let the old South, get a taste a you!"
FIELD OF SCREAMS is a stunningly awful horror-ible movie, a sequel to 2005's 2001 MANIACS, a movie I wasn't all that high on to begin with. The director, Tim Sullivan, obviously has an enormous amount of enthusiasm for this material, but all it translates to onscreen is a vastly childish, irrepressibly nonsensical celluloid puke stain. It makes any Troma picture look like Masterpiece Theater by comparison. Easily the worst movie I've seen this year, it triumphantly trumps the malignant mess that was CABIN FEVER 2 (put your year here since it sat on a shelf for several of them). At least that movie started out with some semblance of cohesion.
If you ever wanted to see Bill Moseley and Lin Shaye have simulated sex, it's in there, pardner!
And then there's this...!
....Okay, I finally managed to get to THE END, but I think I'd rather drink curdled milk if ever given the option of seeing this again, or even a third entry in this increasingly infantile "franchise".
What a creative camera angle. You can see the bright "sun" just above those two "mountains".
I love how DVD's have these disclaimers before the actual movie that states "Interviews and commentaries do not reflect the opinions of such and such individuals." When it comes to the actual content of some of the movies themselves, such as the one being reviewed here, these DVD companies should alter that to "Productions like this do not reflect what we'd normally put out, we're just doing somebody a favor." Maybe even calling 2001 MANIACS: FIELD OF STEAMING PILES OF SHIT an actual "production" is giving it entirely too much respectability.
Originally titled, 2001 MANIACS: THE BEVERLY HELLBILLY'S, that version of the film was to have been too much of a monetary undertaking, so what we got is this even less inspiring, frequently offensive and infrequently funny moron movie. Robert Englund wisely chose to decline reprising his role as Mayor Buckman possibly either due to the lower budget, or the lousy script.
This ridiculous cun-traption is what passes for a creative kill in this movie
The very first screen credit, which speaks volumes about what you are about to see, reads, 'Social Capital Films in association with Tax Credit Finance presents'. This movie reminds me a lot of the dozens of under budgeted shot on video shit heaps that were unloaded on video store shelves back in the 1980's. No doubt the director loves this stuff and had good intentions, but none of that translates in this movie at all, at least not to me. Please, please, Tax Credit Finance, if there is to be a third chapter in this, dare I say, "franchise", please, I implore you to lend the filmmakers a few hundred extra dollars to realize their vision, ever how blurry, or blind it may be.
Also, this isn't a foreign film that needs to be dubbed in various languages for export. This picture, which, forgiving the fact that its budget looks like it wouldn't cover a car rental for a couple weeks, appears to have been dubbed. The audio itself seems to fluctuate from one scene to the next--loud one minute, then slightly muffled the next.
Lin Shaye and her girls get 'Physical'.
The director says in the 'making of' on the disc that he sees this as a "horror comedy...a gag a minute...laugh a minute..." Well....there's lots of horror, only not the horror you expect from a bonafide 'horror' movie. There's no real comedy here, nor gags, nor laughs. Maybe I have no real sense of humor, but what passes for comedy here is incredibly juvenile and painfully strained. There's one, or two minor moments that brought about a slight giggle, but there's virtually NOTHING here that redeems the notion of actually buying this movie. If I were a religious person, I'd say "Thank God I didn't buy this garbage!" Personally, it's not even worth the $3.00 rental I plopped down for it last night. I wouldn't have even bothered doing a review for it were it not for 'The Dis List' being neglected as of late. At least my viewing last night of THE LOSERS (2010) was a winner.
No doubt this picture will incur brain rot, so approach with extreme caution. The director refers to this film as the representation of exploitation, or grindhouse cinema. While it's definitely un-PC, filled with sometimes sloppy, yet splattery gore and XXXploitation, his comments are pretty much an insult to those damned daring, savage and salacious shockers of a bygone era in my view. Incidentally, the film does trot out the barrel gore gag from the Herschell Gordon Lewis 1964 original and poorly recreates it here. Speaking of that, how 'bout simply rewatching that one again? It's far more successful handling this material than either of these two incarnations could ever hope to be.
Would you accept an invite to a barbecue from these three? Only if the proceeds went to the budget of a third film and if said budget was moderately higher than $35.
This review is representative of the First Look DVD
HONG KONG GODFATHER 1985 aka HEROES OF TSIM SHA TSUI
Liang Chia Jen (Mad Dog Wei), Tsui Siu Keung (Playboy Lung), Wong Chun (Hei Lan), Shek Kin (Uncle Han), Cheung Kuen (Sergeant Man), Sam Wai (Rotten Chi), Pomsin Shi (Lan thug), Wang Lung Wei (Lan's partner)
Directed, written & Action directed by Wang Lung Wei
***WARNING! This review contains images of graphic, bloody violence***
The Short Version: One of Shaw Brothers last productions has them deliver possibly the single most bloody gangster mini epic within a 95 minute running time. Many of Shaw's past stars of period martial arts films in either big roles, or supporting ones, figure into this grim Triad tragedy. The last ten minute ultra gory and frenzied finale is well worth the price of the DVD alone. Check it out.
Wong Chun (left) and Wang Lung Wei (right)
After receiving a life imprisonment sentence for a NY Chinatown massacre, Jia Shi Lan, alias Hei Lan, obtains a pardon through the Mafia's influence. Returning to Hong Kong, Hei Lan attempts to use the stature and fortitude of Brother Han, an elder, but good-natured underworld boss, to gain power and spread the Mafia's influence throughout Southeast Asia. After a deadly double cross leaves many of Han's society dead, two former members, one a cop, the other a florist, and the sole remaining loyalist join forces to bring down the criminal empire of Hei Lan.
Liang Chia Jen and Wang Lung Wei in a brutal boxing match during the closing moments of HONG KONG GODFATHER
Famed Shaw Brothers villain, Wang Lung Wei handles triple duty on this spectacularly gory gangster movie just shy of Shaw Brothers closing their filmmaking doors in favor of television productions. The Shaw's were a bit late coming to the New Wave party, and by the time they had arrived, their audience had already passed them by, unfortunately. They did manage to produce a small number of provocative action dramas before they called it a day, leasing their vast studio out to other local and foreign production facilities.
Films such as MERCENARIES FROM HONG KONG (1982), BROTHERS FROM THE WALLED CITY (1982), MEN FROM THE GUTTER (1983) THIS MAN IS DANGEROUS (1985) and DANGER HAS TWO FACES (1985) were either mostly, or totally successful in emulating the then fresh, new style of Hong Kong action cinema that was taking hold. Where some of these were both humorous and serious, HK GODFATHER takes itself very seriously from start to finish. There's some minor funny moments, but nothing to jar the tone as so many of the islands movies were known (and expected) to do.
The plot itself is nothing new and by the numbers in relation to this sort of storyline. Where Wang's movie excels is in its violence. There's plenty of it. Having gotten his big break working with the Godfather of Hong Kong Action Cinema, the venerable Chang Cheh (both Wang and Liang co-starred in Cheh's seminal SHAOLIN MARTIAL ARTS 1974), it isn't surprising to discover many of Cheh's themes and rousingly bloody plot devices present in Wang's script; not the least of which is the increasingly over the top violence.
One of relatively few lighter moments in HONG KONG GODFATHER. Fans will know Shek Kin as Han, Bruce Lee's nemesis in ENTER THE DRAGON (1973). He had previously played a gangster lackey in Shaw's equally gruesome production of THE CASINO (1972; reviewed on this site).
Three friends enjoy a good meal before all the screaming, killing and excessive bleeding
During the first 30 to 40 minutes, the film spends a bit of time getting to know the myriad number of characters. There are quite a few of them. Wei, the former chief bodyguard of Triad leader, Han (Liang), is now retired from the underworld and lives a life running a nursery and trying to keep his wild daughter out of trouble. Playboy Lung (Tsui Siu Keung) is as his name suggests, but is totally loyal to Han, who is the equivalent of a father figure to the men under his employ. Sergeant Man (Keung), now a cop, was previously in the gang, but keeps his ties strictly on a professional level remaining loyal to his job. Rotten Chi (Sam Wai) is a slimy rat of a man just as his name reveals.
After going through a psychotic rage in THUNDERING MANTIS (1979) and a profound desire for vengeance in SECRET SERVICE OF THE IMPERIAL COURT (1984), Liang Chia Jen prepares to go into bloody battle in a modern day bloodbath in HONG KONG GODFATHER (1985)
The film doesn't spend a lot of time on exposition, but gives us a decent amount of characterization to make the viewer cringe just enough when terrible things happen to these people. All bets are off on pretty much everyone. It's open season on women, children and peoples pets. Violence towards women is strong in a couple of scenes, but one of the female characters proves to be very strong and capable of holding her own in fights. While misogyny is prevalent in this genre, HK films (particularly of the Wuxia and kung fu variety) were the first to showcase women in strong roles equal to men. There's even an entire subgenre of 'Girls & Guns' movies that are very popular with fans of modern style Hong Kong action movies.
This fellow to the right looks an awful lot like former venom actor, Chiang Sheng
While the action and violence gets more intense as the film goes on, it's nothing compared to the totally insane and riotously gore drenched finale inside a mall; apparently the same mall that gets demolished in Jackie Chan's POLICE STORY (1985). In addition to the demolition of an entire upper floor office level, the mall is covered in blood and body parts from the bottom floor, to the escalators, to the staircases and then the upper levels.
The joys of digital restoration and also the use of the freeze frame reveals such things as this cable jerking the stuntman backwards after a devastating kick
As with seemingly all Shaw Brothers movies, it doesn't end on a happy note. That's one of the beauties of Shaw productions. You never know just how many, or if any of the heroes are going to make it to the end. Previously available in a cut bootleg version minus much of the nastier bits, this new DVD from Funimation is the complete version containing the full frontal nudity and extreme bloody action cut from the previous versions floating around collectors circles. When Celestial Pictures announced their plans to release the entire Shaw library, fans rejoiced, but their planned 20 titles per month proved to be an impossibility. A number of titles were moved around, announced and removed multiple times, or simply never released at all after their five year lease with DVD distributor, IVL expired at the end of 2007.
Norman Tsui Siu Keung slashes his way through the enemy during an ambush
The release of HONG KONG GODFATHER became the talk of the HK movie community when it was announced it was one of the ten titles procured by BCI. But then the cheers of fans salivating to finally see the movie restored and uncut were once more silenced when BCI was closed down by their owners, the Navarre Corporation before it could be released. Now, Funimation, another company under the Navarre umbrella, has taken over these titles and now we finally have the film to see in its uncut glory. Was it worth the wait? Most definitely.
THUNDERING MANTIS, Liang Chia Jen (left) and THE BASTARD SWORDSMAN, Tsui Siu Keung (right)
Although dated by the eye opening 80's fashions and hairdo's (for those who tend to pay attention to those things), HONG KONG GODFATHER makes up for its kitsch factor with its amazing amount of gory violence. Known for their incredibly violent action movies, the Shaw's do not disappoint here, either. Much like Chang Cheh's movies, Wang Lung Wei piles on the red stuff as if his life depended on it. Possibly the single most gruesome and wildly bloody knife wielding gangster flick, there arguably hasn't been one this enthusiastically drenched in red since Cheh's period gangster movies, VENGEANCE! (1970) and THE DUEL (1971).
Cheh was also responsible for starting this style of HK action film with his hugely successful gangster epic, THE BOXER FROM SHANTUNG (1972). Possessing a high degree of energy and spirited ferocity, HONG KONG GODFATHER (1985) was one of the last really entertaining Shaw productions to get a theatrical release in its native country. Highly recommended for HK action fans and blood hungry sadists that fancy seeing alternative uses for saws, knives and machetes.
This review is representative of the Funimation DVD
copyright 2013. All text is the property of coolasscinema.com and should not be reproduced in whole, or in part, without permission from the author. All images, unless otherwise noted, are the property of their respective copyright owners.
The above quote perfectly surmises what to expect from this amateurishly retarded, hopelessly shoddy movie that does in fact look to have been made by 14 year olds. For what its worth, I'm foregoing my usual synopsis and just say that the Maniacs go on the road by bringing the South to the North with a poverty row traveling carnival act. They trap a group of obnoxious, beyond brain dead young adults working on an even more impoverished reality show modeled on THE SIMPLE LIFE. The ribbing of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, a jab at our current President, a literal rendition of "Brokeback Mountain" and a cannibalistic recreation of The Last Supper is about as intelligent (I use the term lightly here) as this movie gets. Now on to the review, ya'll!
"Come get a taste of the old South...and let the old South, get a taste a you!"
FIELD OF SCREAMS is a stunningly awful horror-ible movie, a sequel to 2005's 2001 MANIACS, a movie I wasn't all that high on to begin with. The director, Tim Sullivan, obviously has an enormous amount of enthusiasm for this material, but all it translates to onscreen is a vastly childish, irrepressibly nonsensical celluloid puke stain. It makes any Troma picture look like Masterpiece Theater by comparison. Easily the worst movie I've seen this year, it triumphantly trumps the malignant mess that was CABIN FEVER 2 (put your year here since it sat on a shelf for several of them). At least that movie started out with some semblance of cohesion.
If you ever wanted to see Bill Moseley and Lin Shaye have simulated sex, it's in there, pardner!
And then there's this...!
What a creative camera angle. You can see the bright "sun" just above those two "mountains".
This ridiculous cun-traption is what passes for a creative kill in this movie
The very first screen credit, which speaks volumes about what you are about to see, reads, 'Social Capital Films in association with Tax Credit Finance presents'. This movie reminds me a lot of the dozens of under budgeted shot on video shit heaps that were unloaded on video store shelves back in the 1980's. No doubt the director loves this stuff and had good intentions, but none of that translates in this movie at all, at least not to me. Please, please, Tax Credit Finance, if there is to be a third chapter in this, dare I say, "franchise", please, I implore you to lend the filmmakers a few hundred extra dollars to realize their vision, ever how blurry, or blind it may be.
Lin Shaye and her girls get 'Physical'.
The director says in the 'making of' on the disc that he sees this as a "horror comedy...a gag a minute...laugh a minute..." Well....there's lots of horror, only not the horror you expect from a bonafide 'horror' movie. There's no real comedy here, nor gags, nor laughs. Maybe I have no real sense of humor, but what passes for comedy here is incredibly juvenile and painfully strained. There's one, or two minor moments that brought about a slight giggle, but there's virtually NOTHING here that redeems the notion of actually buying this movie. If I were a religious person, I'd say "Thank God I didn't buy this garbage!" Personally, it's not even worth the $3.00 rental I plopped down for it last night. I wouldn't have even bothered doing a review for it were it not for 'The Dis List' being neglected as of late. At least my viewing last night of THE LOSERS (2010) was a winner.
No doubt this picture will incur brain rot, so approach with extreme caution. The director refers to this film as the representation of exploitation, or grindhouse cinema. While it's definitely un-PC, filled with sometimes sloppy, yet splattery gore and XXXploitation, his comments are pretty much an insult to those damned daring, savage and salacious shockers of a bygone era in my view. Incidentally, the film does trot out the barrel gore gag from the Herschell Gordon Lewis 1964 original and poorly recreates it here. Speaking of that, how 'bout simply rewatching that one again? It's far more successful handling this material than either of these two incarnations could ever hope to be.
Would you accept an invite to a barbecue from these three? Only if the proceeds went to the budget of a third film and if said budget was moderately higher than $35.
