The Korean super kicker, Hwang Jang Lee has long been a fixture of oldschool kung fu movies and the fans that love them. He's easily one of the most popular big screen Asian villains and instantly recognizable due to his amazing kicking skills, his penetrating stare and deliciously evil laugh.
"It's my pleasure to send you both to hell!"--DANCE OF THE DRUNK MANTIS (1979)
Hwang was a true to life Tough Guy in every sense of the word. He is a real martial artist whose status within the martial arts world has attained legendary proportions. Considering the chaotic nature of Asian cinema, and the voluminous number of their movies, a lot of information is out there about the man; some of it reportedly having been exaggerated.
An upcoming documentary entitled THE ANONYMOUS KING is supposed to reveal the truth behind the legend about this fascinating individual whose cult status doesn't seem to have diminished over the years.
Up until the last several years, there had been little to no interest on the Asian front in terms of preserving their cinematic heritage. There are still films being discovered and unearthed, not to mention the 'needle in a haystack' approach to finding out information detailing what went into the making of these fascinating, action packed and often times misunderstood movies.
The career of Hwang Jang Lee is varied and not too far removed from many of his kung fu colleagues. Unlike most all of today's Asian film headliners, many of the big screen kung fu stars from back in the day were real martial artists whose time offscreen often yielded many occurrences that mirrored their onscreen personages.
While there are a fair number of other kickers who are famous in their own right, like Tan Tao Liang and John Liu, Master Hwang is unique in his own inimitable way.
The sheer breadth of kicks he had in his arsenal is staggering. And all the most often used and most bone-crushing examples of lethal leggery are showcased and discussed here in addition to looking over his movies, the lesser talked about titles, and even some that never got completed, or released.
It wasn't all leg work in his movies, though. Hwang also used the Eagle Claw style quite often. It's generally the one he used most of the time, or some other claw form. It also owes much to what is possibly his signature pose--standing on one leg, arms extended, hands in a claw form and his other leg ready to strike.
Hwang Jang Lee had one helluva mean face, too. Even when he smiles, his facial features are saturated with a potent level of guileful villainy. And when he was mad (which was pretty regular), no one possessed such a piercingly evil scowl.
"What makes you think you'll live that long?"--INVINCIBLE ARMOR (1977)
Bearing a persona and natural charisma that rivaled the late Bruce Lee, Korea's ultimate kicking export could pull off spectacular moves that anybody else would require wires and harnesses to do. The man was so popular, he even had his own demonstration video in the early 80s, THE ART OF HIGH IMPACT KICKING. If that weren't enough, in the credits of movies he co-starred in, he was frequently top billed over the star playing the lead protagonist!
Hwang Jang Lee was most famous for his devastating array of kicks. Picking a favorite is a difficult task. It's like deciding which flavor to get at the ice cream shop as there are so many. The same applies with Master Hwang and his lethal leg work.
Spread out over the course of this five part article are 14 of the most oft seen examples of leg combat maneuvers used by Korea's King of Kicks. I am not sure if a technical name exists for all of these, but I have applied my own definition for them just for "kicks", haha.
1. The most popular it seems is Hwang's 'Bicycle Kick'. This punishing, video game worthy instance of chest and sternum crushing foot devastation is often shown in slow motion so we, the audience can soak up every rapid fire motion at the expense of the man receiving the series of blows to his upper regions. Even slowed down, it still looks fast! The term 'Bicycle Kick' has been applied elsewhere and that's what it looks like--Hwang leaps into the air and postures himself like he's riding a bike. His legs and feet do the rest.
"Bastard! Very well... you've chosen to die!"--SECRET RIVALS (1976)
Hwang was born December 13th, 1944 in Osaka Japan. At age 14 he moved back to South Korea with his parents where he learned the powerful kicking art of Taekwondo. Excelling in this style, Hwang eventually was assigned to train the national army which was stationed in Vietnam at the time. It was at this point in his life that one of the more widely circulated stories of Hwang's life was passed around.
Allegedly, while training the troops in Vietnam, Hwang was challenged to a fight by an eager Vietnamese knife fighter. As the story goes, an unarmed Hwang accidentally killed the man with a swift kick to the noggin; presumably in a similar fashion to Sun Chien putting Yang Hsiung to sleep (permanently) in INVINCIBLE SHAOLIN (1978).
Around 1975, Hwang began appearing in movies where he would put his amazing flexibility and powerful leg work to good use.
After several obscure Korean action films, Hwang got a burst of recognition after appearing as the lead villain in the modestly successful fan favorite, THE SECRET RIVALS in 1976.
This Korea lensed production was a departure from other kung fu pictures of the day; mainly in that it showcased kicking styles. I can't recall another film before it that highlighted various kicks to the extent of THE SECRET RIVALS. Considering Hwang Jang Lee specialized in Taekwondo, the leg-centric choreography suited him perfectly.
Wearing a white wig and sporting white facial hair, Hwang played Silver Fox, a name that came to be closely associated with the Korean kicking sensation.
The inclusion of a white haired villain was popularized in Liu Chia Liang's EXECUTIONERS FROM SHAOLIN (1977), a film that was released in early 1977, yet began shooting sometime in the latter part of 1975. In that film, Lo Lieh made the iconic Pai Mei, Priest White Brows, a household name; the color white symbolizing 'death' in Asia. And where kung fu movies were concerned, white often signified near superhuman strength.
While Hwang essayed a different white haired villain, the character of Pai Mei was also seen in Chang Cheh's THE SHAOLIN AVENGERS (1976); which was released the same day as THE SECRET RIVALS in June of 1976.
With the huge box office receipts incurred via EXECUTIONERS FROM SHAOLIN, and the equally fan favorable appearance of Lo Lieh as Pai Mei, Hwang was often referred to as the White haired 'Silver Fox' by his fans. Some of the credits in his movies even refer to him as such whether he was playing a white haired villain or not. Hwang's vastly impressive kicking abilities in THE SECRET RIVALS no doubt added immeasurably to the near mythic status his career would seize upon in the coming years.
"You are buuullllshittiiiinnng! I must teach you to watch what you say in the future!"--DRAGON'S CLAWS (1979)
Master Hwang returned in a sequel, SECRET RIVALS 2 (1977), where he played the Gold Fox, the twin brother of the previous pictures Silver Fox. Fellow super kicker, John Liu reprised his role, but Don Wong Tao did not return, instead former Shaw star Tino Wong took his place.
More white haired villain roles followed for the busy actor/martial artist. Such films as HERO OF THE WILD starring Chen Sing, the Qing Dynasty thriller SNUFF BOTTLE CONNECTION and the heavy independent classic, INVINCIBLE ARMOR (all 1977) all feature Korea's deadliest export donning a thick mane of white hair.
The latter film, INVINCIBLE ARMOR, heavily replicated the Pai Mei character from Shaw's EXECUTIONERS FROM SHAOLIN. The 1983 Filmark production of RAGING MASTER'S TIGER CRANE directed by the likely pseudonymous Sammy Lee is another.
"Female blood may get rid of tricks!"--DEMON STRIKE (1979)
Hwang would again sport a head full of white follicles in two absolutely absurd movies; the near worthless, if overbearingly wacky DEMON STRIKE and Joseph Kuo's 36 DEADLY STYLES (both 1979); the former is especially disappointing in that it has a great cast. Both Liang Chia Jen and Pai Piao star in what amounts to a chintzy, El Cheapo quickie capitalizing on a similar film in production at Shaw Brothers at the time under the guidance of Kuei Chi Hung; that film being KILLER CONSTABLE (1980).
DEMON STRIKE rips off that story almost scene by scene (even down to the sword Chen Kuan Tai uses in the Shaw picture!) and adds a Mao Shan magical element to the storyline including voodoo dolls and palm emitting laser beams fired into women's vaginal regions.
All sources list this as a 1979 production, but the choreography and wirework look like it could have possibly been made a few years later.
The latter loser (36 DS) showcases some of the worst wigs ever seen in any movie (check out the raggedy mop on Bolo Yeung's head) as well as being a lazily put together film by noted indy director, Joseph Kuo. I remember little of the film, but remember those stupid wigs very well.
2. Hwang's 'Flying Triple Kick' is fairly simple; unless you're on the receiving end. This is basically seen when Hwang becomes enraged; he flies through the air and hammers his opponent with a rapid fire exchange of three kicks. Similar to the 'Bicycle Kick', this series of blows instead has the legs extended, but operates in much the same fashion. The difference is mostly in the targeted areas. It's often the pectoral regions or even the face.
"I can give you a one way ticket to hell."--TOWER OF DEATH (1981)
Bad hair was a mainstay in HK cinema and Hwang would wear some bewilderingly sloppy hair pieces in other movies like the three years in the making, semi offensive Bruceploitation movie TOWER OF DEATH (which bears the distinction of having Hwang responsible for the death of Bruce Lee!!! [1981]) and the hilarious patchwork crapola, NINJA TERMINATOR (1985) helmed by crap film king, Godfrey Ho. In both these movies, Hwang sported wigs that gave him an effeminate appearance with the latter title particularly embarrassing for the subject of this article in his blonde hair piece.
"Well, boy, you've got lots of guts. And I shall kill you later, too!"--SNAKE IN THE EAGLE'S SHADOW (1978)
1978 was a turning point for the formidable fighter. Former Shaw Brothers executive, Ng See Yuen had founded Seasonal Films in 1976 forming the most successful independent company during the Shaw Brothers era of theatrical dominance. Having already used Hwang Jang Lee to great success in the kicking showcase, THE SECRET RIVALS, Ng wanted him for the Hong Kong production, SNAKE IN THE EAGLE'S SHADOW (1978).
While the main star was then box office poison, Jackie Chan, Hwang Jang Lee rips the screen to shreds as Eagle Claw stylist, Master Shang. Personally, I find this influential box office smash a mediocre affair and highly overrated. Still, Hwang makes it worthwhile in this movie that formally introduced kung fu comedy to the masses. Sadly, and just like in many of Hwang's movies, you only ever see him sporadically aside from the opening and towards the end.
"You impertinent young fool! I promise you... I shall have your teeth now!"--SNAKE IN THE EAGLE'S SHADOW (1978)
For years it's been widely reported that Chan and Hwang didn't get along during the shoot. This story is given weight by Chan getting one of his teeth knocked out during the final fight by one of Hwang's devastating kicks. It's made all the more ironic in that Master Shang tells Chan's character he's about to take his teeth!
"What's that supposed to be... kung fu? Who taught you that load of shit?!"--DRUNKEN MASTER (1978)
The incident in SNAKE IN THE EAGLE'S SHADOW was one of two times the Korean bootmaster was reported to have injured Jackie Chan. The second time was on the Seasonal follow up, the even bigger box office blockbuster, DRUNK MONKEY IN THE TIGER'S EYE (1978) aka DRUNKEN MASTER. Here, a well placed kick to the head reportedly sent Jackie Chan to the hospital.
If one puts Hwang's two Chan flicks into context, he doesn't come off as imposing as he does in so many of his other movies; in relation to his wide array of kicks.
The final fight in SNAKE is unusually short for a HK picture. Hwang's kicks are more sporadic spread evenly with hand to hand combat. And while the end fight in DRUNKEN MASTER is longer and better, Hwang doesn't unleash his merciless kicking canon as he does in his other movies.
Both films have Chan in control intermittently. One gets the impression egos may have been rearing their heads here and Chan wasn't about to be shown up in his own movies.
3. Things go great in three's and in Master Hwang's case, three is a pulverizing number. The 'Hurricane Kick Array' is seen when Hwang unleashes a series of kicks on two to three adversaries. They are either lined up one behind the other, or situated in a triangle formation. Either way, they all feel the Force flowing through them from the power of Hwang's foot to their faces. Depending on the formation of the receivers, the kicks are all from a single leg. For a triangle formation, the furious flurry comes from both legs.
TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2
HALLOWEEN WITH JOHN CARPENTER & OTHER THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE FOG
John Carpenter may be the only director having worked in the horror genre who could rip off concepts and ideas and make them look uniquely his own. One could argue Carpenter's career mirrors that of Quentin Tarantino in that it's generously dotted with works that homage what others have done before him; only Carpenter has done it with far more polish and professionalism.
Like most of the genres old hands, his work has lost much of its luster with only an occasional shiny diamond amongst the coal. Personally, I consider John Carpenter one of horrors greatest filmmakers. His decline is no different than any other revered director that specialized in other genres whether within or without the realm of horror and fantasy. His inspirations are debatable, but it's doubtful many of horrors current crop of hipsters behind the camera will ever attain the depth of Carpenter's resume, or any of horror's old hats for that matter.
His SOMEONE'S WATCHING ME! was a 1978 TV movie starring Lauren Hutton that mimicked Hitchcock as well as Bob Clark's seminal and downbeat BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974); the latter film bearing a connection with Carpenter.
There's no arguing the Master of Horror will always be best remembered for HALLOWEEN (Carpenter with Tony Moran as Michael Meyers above). Also from 1978, Carpenter's forever duplicated stalk and slasher borrowed much from Clark's equally classic, if less discussed outing. HALLOWEEN's classic status is assured, yet the background regarding BLACK CHRISTMAS, the film itself, and its then proposed sequel, which eventually morphed into HALLOWEEN, cannot be denied.
Carpenter's THE FOG (1979), an incredibly moody little ghost story has finally gotten the respect it has long deserved. Still, whether intentional, or not, Carpenter's tale of a ghost ship and maggot ridden pirate corpses borrows elements from both Amando De Ossorio's RETURN OF THE BLIND DEAD (1972) and THE GHOST GALLEON (1973). The former in its 100 Bicentennial celebration wherein the monsters come back for revenge, and the latter in its fog enshrouded ghost ship.
ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 (1977) is a horror tinged version of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968) that depicts a group of varied individuals locked up inside a police station threatened by a murderous, bloodthirsty gang trying to get to them from the outside. Elements of this film would later turn up in Carpenter's mostly maligned GHOSTS OF MARS from 2001. The directors career is also dotted with remakes, some of which are striking in their imagery and ability to instill fear in the viewer.
Such is the case with THE THING from 1982; a film that expands on its origins less from the 1951 THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD than from the original John W. Campbell Jr. story. This tale about an alien frozen in the Arctic that escapes and uses human hosts to survive by absorbing them and moving onto other lifeforms still contains incredible effects work and taut direction from Carpenter.
His other remake, VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED (1995), is a mostly pedestrian effort that seems to show its director merely collecting a paycheck. Then again, very little of consequence emerged in horror from the late 80s to the mid 1990s.
ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK (1981) is still an incredible piece of action cinema with a streamlined comic book plot. Carpenter essentially remade the film in 1996 as ESCAPE FROM LA, bolstering the bigger budgeted movie with tons of action set pieces and cult film icons. Wedged in between were films about killer cars (CHRISTINE), a kung fu fantasy feature (BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA), an alien invasion movie (THEY LIVE) and a devil picture (PRINCE OF DARKNESS) that has increased in value over the years.
His MEMOIRS OF AN INVISIBLE MAN (1992) disappeared at the box office and VAMPIRES (1998) was essentially an Earth bound version of 2001's GHOSTS OF MARS but with bloodsuckers.
Carpenter has professed his love of westerns and according to him, he considers a hefty chunk of his resume to be westerns in disguise. His most recent directed work, THE WARD (2010), a traditional ghost story set within a mental institution, has been heralded by many to be a return to form for one of horror's Big Guns.
While Craven made his name on visceral violence, Romero on zombies and their flesh eating social subtext, Carpenter made his on tension and a profound knack for goosebumpery. Like all of the genres major players, their best days are behind them. No matter what they do from here on out, those classic early works will always be there to see time and time again. Remakes be damned.
THE STAKES ARE HIGH
Jim Mickle's MULBERRY STREET (2006) had an interesting 'B' movie plot, but a lousy execution. It was part of the 2007 After Dark Horrorfest and delivered far more Horr-ible than Horror.
Upon stumbling upon his STAKE LAND (2010) via a blind buy, the results are like night and day. They don't even appear to be the work of the same man. The plots are similar, but the 2010 picture, about a zombie-like plague that turns Earth's population into ravenous vampire monsters, is the DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978) of the new millennium.
Hopefully, the wonderfully gloomy atmosphere and didacticism of civilizations destruction disguised as a vampire apocalypse isn't a fluke on Mickle's part. His film also makes vampires creepy again.
Is Kelly McGillis (seen above with Mickle) becoming a late-blooming scream queen? She has a soul searing role here as a nun on the run who ultimately struggles with her faith. Incidentally, she also has a role in Ti West's THE INNKEEPERS (2011), another filmmaker also a part of this article. Horror heroine, the lovely Danielle Harris (at left) is also featured here.
No glittery gayisms and romanticisms seen in the teeny-bopper interpretations of bloodsuckers in recent years, these are no-nonsense, rip your head off vamps with zombie-istic tendencies. It remains to be seen if Mickle can capitalize on the momentum gained by this stunning horror film that was among the best I saw in 2011.
I BLESS THE RAINS AND THE ZOMBIES DOWN IN AFRICA
Howard and Jonathan Ford's THE DEAD (2010) seemed to come out of nowhere; much like the shuffling dead seen almost non-stop over the course of this sweltering, Africa lensed motion picture. The plot is simplicity in its depiction of two men of different races, nationalities, but desiring the same goal--to be reunited with their loved ones. It's not a perfect film, but it's brimming with tense moments and overflowing with a lava-like level of zombie attacks.
The various assaults and locales recall Italian gut-slurpers like Fulci's classic ZOMBIE (1979) and Mattei's classless HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD (1980). It mirrors the apocalyptic bravado of Mickle's STAKE LAND, but trumps it slightly by shooting on the devastating African continent. The frequently stunning photography somehow takes away some of the horror, yet lends the film a gruesomely majestic feel at the same time. It remains to be seen if the Ford's are game to give gore another go-round.
SHARKS CAN BE SCARY AGAIN AND THAT'S NO CROC
With the 'Found Footage' and BLAIR WITCH styled horror thrillers being all the rage (right alongside remakes, the current bane of horror), Australian filmmaker, Andrew Traucki joins his other 'Down Under' compatriots as a force to be reckoned with.
Surfacing with the Killer Kroc flick BLACK WATER in 2007, Traucki has shown himself to be an ardent fan of 'Nature Amuck' movies. So far his two completed features are of the aquatic menace variety. BLACK WATER, which takes after the similar US film, OPEN WATER (2006), eschews that movies sharks for crocodiles, but retains the 'based on true events' moniker.
BLACK WATER's premise was simple--a vacation goes horribly awry leaving a family stranded within the Australian swampland and being stalked by a hungry crocodile. It's slowly paced, but Traucki punctuates his movie with a few stellar moments of shock. He also proves distinctive by utilizing a unique method for his films. As opposed to the prolificity of CGI, Traucki opts instead to composite real crocodiles for the attack scenes.
He used this same technique for his next feature, the even better THE REEF (2010). This film (even more similar to OPEN WATER), about a group of vacationers being hunted by a great white shark after their boat capsizes, did something few shark movies have done since JAWS--induce a feeling of fear. OPEN WATER did it, but that film was of the BLAIR WITCH school of horror.
THE REEF feels more like a real movie jettisoning the 'you are there' approach taken by so many horror pictures in recent memory. This films ad campaign is one of the best I've seen to come along in a good many years.
Sadly, this picture had its premiere on DVD; the theatrical front for killer shark movies having been systematically decimated by the double team foul fishy smell emanating from DEEP BLUE SEA (1997) and countless SyFy Shitters of the Week.
The box office failure of the imbecilic SHARK NIGHT 3D (2011) and the limited release of the semi horror DARK TIDE (2011) starring Halle Berry did nothing to re-ignite the dangers indigenous to oceanic locales; the likes of which haven't been incurred on a large scale since JAWS way back in 1975.
At least in Traucki's case, he invoked genuine menace and a paranoid sense of isolation with his two underwater horrors which lacked the bigger, flashier budgets of the American made fare.
Currently, Traucki is attached to the curious THE ABCs OF DEATH, an unusual movie bringing together some two dozen genre filmmakers and their visions. Here's hoping Traucki continues to scare in an equally ingenious vein as he has done in his first two features.
LUCKY WITH THE LADIES TEN YEARS RUNNING
For a decade now, Lucky McKee has been associated with the horror genre. He's done relatively few films, as they've been spread out between 2002 and 2010. He attracted a good deal of attention with MAY (2002), his grim psychological terror tale of Frankensteinian proportions starring Angela Bettis. In that film, Bettis was this societally disconnected girl whose "best friend" is a peculiar looking doll. After losing relationships with a man then a lesbian woman, May continues full speed ahead into insanity; not that she was too far away from the brink as it was.
McKee then helmed what many say is the best, or one of the best of cable's hit series, MASTERS OF HORROR with his episode, 'Sick Girl'; yet another tale of lonely, detached females with the inclusion of an exotic, yet dangerous insect. He next delved into Argento territory with the SUSPIRIA sounding THE WOODS in 2006. Unfortunately, I haven't seen it.
McKee next adapted the Jack Ketchum novel, 'Red' for the silver screen. This one wasn't so much a horror picture as it was a grueling dramatic thriller via the violence laden conventions of the revenge film. Any horror fan worth their salt on the wound will know who Jack Ketchum is. The rampant perversity and recalcitrance of Ketchum's ball busting endurance tests were a natural fit for McKee's demoralized and homocidal central characters. For RED, this was something of a departure for both Ketchum and McKee, yet the violence was still shocking in the extreme.
The plot of RED concerns an old man who is harassed by a group of kids with nothing better to do with their day than terrorize an old man fishing with his dog. These cruel bastards kill the man's dog with his own shotgun for no reason whatsoever.
From here, the film trots out the required tropes of vengeance cinema and builds appropriately robust heroes and villains along the way. As disturbing as it all is, the movie ends on an upbeat note.
It's worth noting McKee seems attracted to characters (predominantly women) who are outcasts, quirky and or homicidal; sometimes a combination of the three. His films mirror the eccentricities that propagate within Ketchum's twisted worlds.
This was really brought to bear in McKee's most recent endeavor, THE WOMAN (2011). Here was a film that was as grossly offensive as it was mesmerizingly engrossing. Its depiction of McKee's most bizarre and intrinsically savage characterizations yet are spearheaded by Pollyanna Mcintosh (see photo at right).
This was a sequel to an inferior movie entitled OFFSPRING (2009). It, too, was based on a Ketchum novel. Pollyanna Mcintosh lead the cannibalistic pack in that film but goes it solo here. THE WOMAN is superior in every way to OFFSPRING, yet this sequel is also a terribly divisive amongst horror circles. It's one of those movies you either admire or despise. It's also one of a trend that shows an unbridled devotion to 70s ultra violent cinema, only here, the material is approached with more intelligence than the average picture of this sort. Me, personally, I look forward to what McKee has planned next.
THE BOTTOMLESS BARREL: REDNECK ROB VS. UWE'S BOLL SHIT
This rocker with the initials RZ sings what passes for mainstream metal these days. He also directs what he feels are potential masterpieces being passed off as mainstream horror. He's so cognizant of his place in horror's universe that his movies bear the distinction of having his name plastered just above the main title a la John Carpenter. You'd think justification for one's accomplishments would come with experience and a varied resume.
So far, Mr. Zombie has amassed a small number of movies that are virtually interchangeable from the one before it. The (lowest) common denominators between them are carnivalesque characters acted by familiar genre faces who utter the most infantile dialog ever devised. If you can imagine Tarantino as a 15 year old hillbilly, you have some idea of the sort of dialog Robbie Z writes for his cast to spout with the utmost conviction (Chicken fucking anyone?). It's like everyone in his movies live in an alternate reality where human beings do not behave like rational human beings.
He's done two mediocre TEXAS CHAINSAW homages and two HALLOWEEN films which could easily be related to his maiden and sophomore (sophomoric?) efforts. Zombie's interpretation of Carpenter's genre defining classic is about as pleasant an experience as drinking a gallon of curdled milk. And it's only getting worse as Zombie puts the finishing touches on what is no doubt yet another waste of celluloid, this time titled (in oppressively creepy voice) LORDS OF SALEM. Wait, correction, that's ROB ZOMBIE'S LORDS OF SALEM. Excuse me. Zombie obviously loves violent movies of the 70s, but he should really put the pen down and let somebody from this planet (and with a mature grasp of the English language) write his scripts for him. A change of scenery would do him good, too.
For the last twenty years few directors have garnered such an impressive array of shitty movies as Uwe Boll, the not so wunderkind from Germany.
To compensate for Boll's cinematic shortcomings, I will include some juicy photos of Kristanna Loken and Natassia Malthe, two beautiful women who donned the skin tight leather outfits of the increasingly insipid BLOODRAYNE series.
His story is an amazing one and could easily qualify for a novel sized read. The sheer audacity this man has in his quest to half-ass direct one motion picture after the other is a staggering accomplishment in itself. And one of the more amazing aspects of this modern day Ed Wood (while Wood is beloved for his badness, Boll is infinitely hated by cult film fans) is that he has a small contingent of fans who admit to liking his movies.
Not only that, but the man continues to get financing to craft his crapola that are the equivalent of used toilet paper. And not the expensive kind. I'm talking finger roll here. And yes, that's the man pictured above giving you the finger. He makes continuously craptacular movies gambling with others money whom blindingly fork it over to him, yet he can't grasp he should lay the camera down and smash it to bits in the hopes of never picking one up again.
Thankfully, studios ultimately became a bit more hesitant to willingly hand over a budget to this guy considering his movies consistently tank at the box office. Bear in mind that tanking is an understatement. Boll's movies burn through the bottom of the barrel like so much Alien blood yet he still possesses some arcane ability to wrangle big name Hollywood talent (past and present); this despite each film descending further and further into the abyss where celluloid excrement goes to die.
Boll, having somewhat tired of his ruthless video game to screen fetish (tired by a narrow margin), resorted to blatant offensiveness to attract a crowd with POSTAL, a 2007 comedy that makes Troma look like Mel Brooks by comparison. He achieved a modicum of success with this cinematic shit pot by stirring up a lot of folks via mainstream media news reports because of some imagery mocking 9/11 and comedic material involving Osama Bin Laden and George Bush.
Every movie on his Boll call has been a disaster and none on quite the level of IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE (2007), a 60 million bomb of an epic scale. The movie couldn't even be bothered to break the 5 million mark in American theaters. It also failed to kill off the career of the charismatic Jason Statham, a British actor whose own career is of equal amazement. I can't think of another actor who can be in multiple movies a month and relatively few of them make any money; and yet he still gets good roles.
Meanwhile, Boll continues to churn out rotten saurkraut; still resorting to cheap shocks (like his no doubt horrific AUSHWITZ from 2011) when nobody is paying attention to his juvenile video game movies. Obviously, a market exists for this man's manure; particularly BLOODRAYNE considering Boll has been behind three of them thus far. The mind boggles and the head hurts.
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO GREG MCLEAN?! The man exploded onto the horror scene with a down and dirty endurance horror by the name of WOLF CREEK in 2005. It was a movie of the 'Based On True Events' school of horror and told in a suitably savage, bleak style.
McLean wisely spends a good deal of time with his three Australian campers just prior to their fateful meeting with the films nasty villain portrayed by John Jarratt. The director pulls no punches in its terror and torture sequences leading up to a shocking, if ambiguous ending.
Despite being a financial success, audiences were divided here because it took too long to get to the "action". Hollywood has programmed the paying customers that you must cut to the chase and get to the action as quickly as possible instead of building to it. To hell with things like exposition. Unless you have an established star for folks to ogle, most audience members can't be bothered with actors they are not familiar with. McLean was brave enough to fashion the film his way and managed to get a nationwide release and a tidy profit resulted.
His follow up, ROGUE (2007), is a beyond exceptional entry in the 'Nature Amuck' genre that has been abused and damaged so severely by the SyFy Channel, that these types of movies seem totally out of place being seen in a theatrical format.
Every time it's tried, the films fail to make a decent profit versus budget. The high profile, yet low brow trash of PIRANHA (2010) is a good example of this. McLean's ROGUE deserved a theatrical chance.
Just take a look at its poster artwork; a terrifying design that recalls the iconic JAWS poster imagery. Yet it was highly likely his tale of crocodile horror would sink to the murky bottom of the swamp like the others before and after it.
Regardless, McLean devises a well rounded blotter of diverse characters, bombastic cinematography and intense attacks by the title critter. Gore is kept to a minimum. It took ROGUE a long time before it hit American shores, unfortunately.
No doubt its release was hampered by another killer crocodile movie, the vastly inferior PRIMEVAL (2007). That film was based on a true story, but it failed to ignite at the box office. Movies about man-eating alligators and crocodiles generate poor monetary returns and ROGUE was dealt a death blow in its native Australia. It's one of those times where a film was unfairly overlooked and maligned from a piss poor audience reception. It's much better than its theatrical performance would reflect.
McLean has been MIA these last few years, but here's hoping this fiercely talented director gets back in the game sooner rather than later.
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO TI WEST?! Actually, Ti West may not actually belong here. I haven't seen his 2005 picture, THE ROOST, but HOUSE OF THE DEVIL (2009) was infinitely impressive, packed with tension and possessing a flair that echoed the horror of the 1980s. The title is pretty much self-explanatory about a woman who applies for a babysitting job to make some quick cash. She ends up with far more than she could have ever bargained for. What came next from Mr. West almost seems to be from a different director entirely.
CABIN FEVER 2 (2009) is easily one of the worst horror films I've ever seen. Apparently Ti West is embarrassed by his involvement with this picture and such ignominy felt by his involvement is understandable considering how wretched the whole thing is. The film isn't without some striking moments, but for the most part, it's forgettable junk that only spirals downward the closer we get to the ending. In his defense, this was a severely troubled production being shelved for a time before being released; and it shows.
After that fiasco, West embarked on another suspense building spooker, this one entitled THE INNKEEPERS (2011). This story of two co-workers who are bound and determined to make some sort of spiritual connection with the Inn's former tenants... who happen to be very much dead. The movie attempts to ape the slow build formula of West's HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, but fails at generating much in the way of horror till the finale. It's not a bad film, just an anemic attempt at emulating Kubrick's THE SHINING (1980) and any number of British horror from decades prior.
His upcoming V/H/S promises to be something truly terrifying and among the already flooded 'Found Footage' market; the popularity of which doesn't seem to have slowed down much if at all. West also appears among the lengthy list of filmmakers attached to the ambitious THE ABCs OF DEATH.
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NEIL MARSHALL?! British born director Neil Marshall got a deluge of positive notices from his monster movie, DOG SOLDIERS, a 2005 film that bears all the hallmarks of a SyFy Channel original. Not surprisingly, the US channel well known for its awful CGI monster fests adopted this British tale of lycanthropic terror for American consumption. While this story of gun toting soldiers fending off a family of werewolves from within a flimsily fortified cabin in the woods offered a few scares and lots of blood, it was Marshall's next that really put him on the map.
A group of women go on a cave excursion within an unmapped cave and become trapped below ground with no known means of escape. The women quickly realize they're not alone. The darkness surrounding them yields fanged, albino like, flesh-eating humanoids. With their numbers dwindling, the women must find both a way to survive and a way out before they all become food for these blind beasts from below. THE DESCENT (2007) was a welcome breath of fresh air for the horror genre which had (and continues to be) inundated with lackadaisacal remakes and hollow throwbacks to better films of yesteryear. The scares were plentiful and successfully pulled off. A Marshall produced sequel followed in 2009. I have no idea what happened with Marshall's next picture.
Instead of capitalizing on his horror growth spurt from his two previous movies, Marshall regressed with a terribly ill advised post apocalyptic watzit entitled DOOMSDAY (2008) starring Kate Beckinsale lookalike, Rhona Mitra (pictured above). Surely made with the best of intentions, Marshall received generally scornful notices from fans and critics alike who were blown away by THE DESCENT.
To put it mildly, I found DOOMSDAY to be an abomination. It has all the trimmings for grand cult appeal amassing everything from ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK (1981) to THE ROAD WARRIOR (1981) to ALIENS (1986) and even Lenzi's NIGHTMARE CITY (1980); yet it totally flushes such an opportunity due in no small part to some severely erratic, headache inducing editing.
Marshall was pretty much off the radar after this misguided Armageddon fiasco, but found a modest degree of redemption with the gory sword and sandal set CENTURION (2010).
Years in the making, this historical epic obviously meant a lot to director Marshall considering the level of realism and shooting tactics incorporated for its reportedly grueling schedule in the Scottish Highlands. A far cry from the absurdities of DOOMSDAY, CENTURION came in the wake of 300 (2007), which opened the Olympian gates for a peplum resurgence that hadn't been seen since the 1950s and 60s.
For whatever reason, no major studio would touch CENTURION. Magnet Releasing ended up distributing Marshall's movie with a 'barely there' release till the inevitable video debut. I do have to wonder, though, had DOOMSDAY performed better, would the vastly superior CENTURION have gotten the respectable stateside release it deserved and from a company more willing to gamble on a wider berth.
Whatever Marshall's next happens to be (he's attached as director to the horror film THE LAST VOYAGE OF DEMETER), he's shown himself to be a devoted filmmaker and lover of the medium who seems to honestly care about the product he is creating. The best of luck to him and to the others listed here.
To be continued in HEROINES OF HORROR, a fifth chapter dealing with horror and trash cinemas female helmsmen.
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