Commando (1985) review

COMMANDO 1985

Arnold Schwarzenegger (John Matrix), Rae Dawn Chong (Cindy), Dan Hedaya (Arius), Vernon Wells (Bennett), James Olson (Major General Franklin Kirby), David Patrick Kelly (Sully), Alyssa Milano (Jenny), Bill Duke (Cooke)

Directed by Mark L. Lester

The Short Version: Arnold Schwarzenegger carries trees, has a sense of smell like a bloodhound, and eats Green Berets for breakfast in this 80s Action flick that could have been named after his 1970 non-classic HERCULES GOES BANANAS. Essentially a muscleman epic with guns and rocket launchers, Arnold's John Matrix is even more impervious than the Terminator. You'll see him hurl heavy objects with the greatest of ease, toss guys around like sacks of potatoes, and mow down scores of armed assailants without so much as a scratch. There's also a carelessly high level of continuity errors littering the screen like so many shell casings. Infectious, breezily paced entertainment, COMMANDO is RAMBO on steroids and comes highly recommended for 80s action aficionados.

John Matrix, a highly decorated former military Commando, is pushed into complying with a deposed dictator, General Arius, into assassinating President Velasquez, the new leader of a South American country. To ensure he does the job, Matrix's daughter is held hostage by the deranged Bennett, a former member of his team. Since Matrix and the new ruler are friends, no one would suspect him of the hit. But Matrix has no intentions of doing the job, instead turning into a one man war machine hellbent on getting his daughter back alive.

The director of FIRESTARTER (1984) followed up that fiery flick with this big ticket actioner that set the box office ablaze after RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II (1985) blew it up several months earlier. It being the 1980s, this was an era of both American military and economic strength around the world and this was reflected in the cinema of the time. The Stallone sequel was a hard act to follow in terms of nonstop violence and explosions, but Lester shows he's up to the task in his cult copycat favorite COMMANDO. The two films share some things in common in that both are named John; and both are literal armies of one. The Schwarzenegger movie has its own version of Colonel Troutman in the form of James Olson as Major General Franklin Kirby. His dialog is even similar.

Elsewhere, Steven E. de Souza's script is doused in one liners and action set pieces fired off with such rapidity, it's akin to Schwarzenegger emptying a clip on his Valmet M78/83. The bulk of Schwarzenegger's dialog are witticisms, sometimes spouting more than one in the same scene. The action comes fast and furious, and always on the creative side. It's really something to behold. Easily one of the leanest 80s actioners, COMMANDO never once takes itself seriously. It's on the same cartoonish level of one of your finer Hong Kong kung fu epics, just from an American perspective.

Firepower is a big part of the COMMANDO arsenal. Arnold seemingly carries an entire guns and ammo shop over his shoulders and around his waist during the blow'em up finale. Having just come off THE TERMINATOR (1984), Schwarzenegger went from playing an indestructible cyborg to a virtually indestructible slab of beefcake. Possessing nothing less than Demi-godly levels of strength, Arnold slings, hurls, and rips sets, people, and props apart with equal abandon. This possibly explains why the waves of villains that fire at him never hit him a single time; the bullets likely just bounce off of Matrix.

 
Arnold is really good here, firing off quips left and right while making his way through one impossible scenario after another. The word 'impossible' suits COMMANDO like a glove. Part of the films charm is its devout adherence to unreality. Lester's film wallows in impracticability. Adding to this lack of realism is a laundry list of goofs and continuity errors. Cars receive damage that disappear and reappear between shots; rocket launchers have no rockets in them, but fire anyways; ammo belt never seems to deplete, etc, etc.

Aiding Arnold in getting his daughter back (WHO'S THE BOSS? star Alyssa Milano) is a flight attendant named Cindy (played by Rae Dawn Chong). The two have a lot of onscreen chemistry together. Her clumsiness in trying to help Matrix in his quest complements the absurdness of the whole thing. Without Chong's participation, COMMANDO would be a lot less intentionally fun. 

The villains are all memorable faces whose actions, while likewise on the outskirts of verisimilitude, are of the communist level of thuggery popular in all your finer 80s action hero flicks. This was back when communism was depicted for the evil it truly is; unlike the romanticized version in today's world. The made-up South American land of Val Verde is seemingly enjoying a free (or more free) society after Matrix helped the new President Velasquez overthrow Arius (Dan Hedaya, Nick Tortelli of CHEERS), the dictatorial main heavy who wishes to have all that power back. 

Vernon Wells, who gave Mad Max a hard time in THE ROAD WARRIOR (1981), got the part as Bennett when the original actor hired to play the role was fired (allegedly for failing to project the right amount of menace). Wells is psycho enough, and bears a resemblance to the more muscular William Smith. Now that would have been perfect casting--Arnold vs. William Smith. Of course, Smith didn't work with Arnie again after beating the Austrian muscleman at arm wrestling before production began on CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982).

He's remembered mostly as Luther, the leader of The Rogues who had a penchant for catch phrases and coke bottles in THE WARRIORS (1979), but David Patrick Kelly has a similar weaselly air about him here. He was just as creepy as the nightmare assassin in the underrated, SPX heavy SciFi film DREAMSCAPE (1984).

Then there's Bill Duke as Cooke, the blank-faced former Green Beret who has relatively few lines, but says more with his emotional vacancy acting style than most actors with lots of dialog. He turned up again with Schwarzenegger as one of the good guys against the PREDATOR (1987). 

James Horner orchestrates a score that sounds nothing like his boisterous, epic scores for STAR TREK 2 (1982) and KRULL (1983). Steel drums and saxophone driven cues might seem an odd choice for this sort of Heavy Metal & Muscles type action picture, but strangely enough, it works. There are a couple of Horner calling cards but for the most part there's not much familiarity with his other works.

Schwarzenegger was on a roll at this point. A sequel was planned for COMMANDO, but it never materialized. Around the same time, a sequel to THE TERMINATOR was announced, but it took several years to come to the screen. This was the first time you hear Arnold repeat his now famous line from TERMINATOR, "I'll be back"; from here on out, it became customary for Schwarzenegger to say it somewhere in his films. Ridiculously over the top, COMMANDO is not only required viewing for macho movie mavens, but it's an astute representation of the style of action movie that dominated the 1980s.

This review is representative of the 20th Century Fox blu-ray (R rated version). Extras and Specs: 1080p 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen; theatrical trailer; English 5.1 DTS-HD; French Stereo; Spanish Mono.

Conan the Destroyer (1984) review

 

CONAN THE DESTROYER 1984

Arnold Schwarzenegger (Conan), Grace Jones (Zula), Wilt Chamberlain (Bombaata), Mako (Akiro), Tracey Walter (Malak), Sarah Douglas (Queen Taramis), Olivia D'Abo (Princess Jehnna), Pat Roach (Thoth-Amon/Monster), Jeff Corey (Grand Vizier), Sven-Ole Thorsen (Togra), Ferdinand Mayne (Keeper of the Horn)

Directed by Richard Fleischer

The Short Version: The bloodthirsty barbarian, having quenched his taste for revenge, is tempered for this lighter, funnier, but still gritty sequel that shares a lot more in common with the mediocre 2011 remake than the 1982 original. Conan might be billed as a Destroyer, but he's got jokes in this formula adventure that's a whole lot of fun if you can separate it from the blood and guts, fantasy fury of the first film. At times feeling less like a sequel, and more like one of those CONAN rip-offs, but with a much bigger budget, it's one of the finest pieces of  'B' movie escapism despite causing many a troubled brow for the devotees of Robert E. Howard. It is I, the Chronicler, who will tell you of the good and bad of this tale of high adventure.

Conan is tasked with escorting a virgin princess to procure a magical crystal that will unlock a sacred horn hidden away in a mountain crypt. If successful, Conan is promised by the bewitching ruler, Queen Taramis to return the dead Valeria to him, and a kingdom of his own to rule. Leading a band of thieves, warriors, and the powerful Captain of the Guard in Shadizar, the journey leads them across distant lands and into dangerous encounters with magic and monsters.

It's not the popular opinion, but CONAN THE DESTROYER (1984) is just as good a movie as CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982), but for very different reasons. An enormously entertaining 'B' picture, Fleischer's film is the barbaric equivalent of the Saturday matinee features of old. Recycling old cliffhanger templates that were popularized for the modern age with RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981), CTD is a near perfect example of the formula adventure. The original intent was to create something with broader appeal; something that was the polar opposite of John Milius's classic manly movie milestone; and in that, they succeeded well beyond expectations.

There's the musclebound, valorous hero (a more Herculean Schwarzenegger); his trusted sidekick (comedy relief, Malak); a wizard (Mako as additional comedy relief); a fierce warrior woman (Grace Jones, who got too carried away in her fight scenes); an insidious, deceptive villain (Sarah Douglas, who else?), and the requisite quest; in this case, a multi-faceted one. Conan must find one item that will unlock another. These are all ingredients integral to the Sword and Sorcery genre. Without these things you've got the cinematic equivalent of something smelly stuck to the bottom of your shoe like THE INVINCIBLE BARBARIAN (1982); or hilarious, unbelievably retarded celluloid mistakes like ATOR, THE BLADE MASTER (1984). 

There had been over a dozen similar films made prior to CONAN THE DESTROYER going into production. It's budget (estimated at $18 million dollars) would probably cover the cost of most of them; and with a sizable sum of money behind it, there's an air of sloppiness about CONAN 2 you'd expect to see in a motion picture made with a fraction of the cost. 

 
In the first movie, there's a couple shots where blood bags are noticeable, but in the sequel, things are a little more glaring. On a few occasions you can see the swords bend during fights; Toth-Amon, upon transforming into a mottle-faced monster, isn't able to close his mouth. It just hangs open; the nose moves, though. At the end of the movie, Dagoth turns into a slimy, amphibious looking monstrosity that, in certain shots, looks like a rush job; and in some instances, the thick padding is obvious. Perhaps Grace Jones was originally part of the fight, and Rambaldi didn't want the suit performer getting hurt underneath all that rubber?

Regarding Carlo Rambaldi's Dagoth creation (Andre the Giant was inside of it), he could do fabulous work (like E.T.), but some of his creations might of looked good on paper, but didn't translate so well upon their construction. That useless giant King Kong robot from the '76 remake for instance. Dagoth is another. It looks menacing enough in a few shots, but when you get a longer look at it, the beast looks like Swamp Thing's cousin's sister's brother... twice removed.

For those who voiced their disdain for Milius reworking Howard's creation, the vilification from hardcore REH fans came in great numbers for the sequel. Conan the Family Friendly Barbarian is only a Destroyer when he has to be. The rest of the time, he's a laid back, more mature savage; prone to smiling spells, and cracking jokes -- such as when he shows Jehnna a sword is preferable to a wooden spear -- "if you're going to learn how to fight, then learn with a real weapon... not with a toothpick!" 

 
There's a good deal of humor throughout; much of it coming from Conan's sidekick, Malak, the butt of barbarian jokes. There's a funny bit when he references his cousin's sister's brother finding a way out of the wicked city of Shadizar. Later in the film, Conan is doing his Hercules impression by bending some bars that Malak claims his cousin's sister's brother forgot to mention. As Conan nearly gives himself a hernia solving this particular riddle of steel, Akiro and Malak argue behind him whether it was his cousin's sister's brother, or his sister's brother's cousin. For the record, Malak did indeed say it was his cousin's sister's brother.

Paramount of this nuanced savage, and unusual for Iron Age denizens of the male persuasion, he shows no interest in ravaging the shapely form of Olivia D'Abo (who was only 14 at the time), despite her advances. Yes, our little princess was an aspiring Lolita of the Hyborian Age. Conan still mourns for Valeria, and in this movie, even prehistoric sword-slingers have a soft side. 

 
One a side note relating to the Jehnna character, earlier in the movie, the evil Queen Taramis instructs Bombaata to ensure Jehnna's virginity returns to Shadizar intact. Yes, the 7'1" Wilt Chamberlain, the man who claimed to have bedded down 20,000 females, is in charge of making sure a young woman's maidenhood remain untouched. That's comparable to having a deceased relatives burial handled by a funeral home run by Ed Gein.

Additionally, there were some that took issue with the campfire sequence showing a drunk Cimmerian; apparently some had forgotten Conan enjoyed his alcohol in the first movie, too; and as gruesome as Milius's movie could be, it wasn't without its own streak of funny business; only here, the comedy is about as subtle as the violence was in Milius's movie. The main difference being that while CONAN THE BARBARIAN was high adventure, CONAN THE DESTROYER was high camp. It's understandable why the hardcore REH set would be disgruntled. The first movie mixes and matches details from various Howard sources while the sequel is an even more loose adaptation. Thoth-Amon for instance, is a central villain in the mythology; but here, he's seen as just another wizard. 

When I saw CONAN THE DESTROYER in the theater, everyone had a great time with it, and laughed at all the jokes and seemed to really enjoy it. And I think that's all the filmmakers were going for. My grandmother dropped me off and the choice was either STAR TREK 3, THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN, or CONAN THE DESTROYER. I made the right choice that day.

Arnold dropped 30 pounds for the first movie, but put 10 back on for the sequel. In this second round, Conan is more heavily involved in action sequences, often displaying a Herculean level of strength. This is particularly in evidence during the opening action sequence when Conan manages to bring two men and two horses to the ground. Lifting massive doors that haven't been opened in years, and bending metal bars are some of the Cimmerian's feats of strength. Arnold's portrayal might seem like a far more relaxed approach, but it's a natural progression for the character. He hasn't lost his savagery, he's just not prone to indulge it till it's necessary.

 
Regardless of what viewers think of CONAN THE DESTROYER, everyone that worked on it seemed to have had a fantastic time making it; well, almost everybody. The stunt guys that got badly bruised and broken bones from a no-holds-barred Grace Jones (making her film debut) were likely not in the best of spirits. Schwarzenegger was especially motivated in preparing himself for the role; and according to stunt legend Vic Armstrong, Arnold pushed himself to almost obsessive levels. He might party till 2am, but three hours later, he's ready for the gym. This congenial atmosphere translated to the screen.

 
Like Grace Jones, Wilt "The Stilt" Chamberlain made his big screen debut in CONAN THE DESTROYER. He does fine in the role of Bombaata, the Captain of the Guard in Shadizar. Even if he never spoke any lines (he doesn't have many as it is), his height alone is enough to sell his character. His battle with Conan at the end is sufficiently brutal. Some of this fight may have been cut. There's a couple of shots where you see bloody wounds on his back that we don't see him receive. A love scene between Conan and Taramis was omitted -- she appearing as Valeria, it appears from still photos.

Basil Poledouris returns to score the sequel with a lesser, but not unlikable soundtrack. The first movie was very operatic, gloomy, and a stimulating score to match. For DESTROYER, the tone is, as stated above, totally different. The music matches this tonal change. Poledouris's cues are spirited and rousing, complementing the more upbeat adventure motif. You'll recognize some recycled tunes from the first CONAN, and even some of the newer ones get repetitive, but overall, it's music to embark on treacherous journey's by.

The production design isn't quite as elaborate as before, despite the budget being just slightly less than the first movie. The inner sanctum of Shadizar is spectacular with its marble structures and pillars. Thoth-Amon's ice castle is a nice change of scenery. Jack Cardiff's photography captures some stunning vistas on the Mexico shoot. DUNE (1984) was shot there, so the CONAN sequel shot there too, and at Churubusco Studios since the crew was already in place.

Famous Italian makeup artist Giannetto De Rossi (ZOMBIE, THE BEYOND, DUNE, RAMBO 3, HIGH TENSION) worked on the picture. The gore isn't as extensive as the '82 film, but for a 'PG' production, the sight of splattering blood from sword trauma happens a few times, and a head is sent skyward in slow motion. Dagoth squashes one guys noggin like a melon (offscreen), and there's some bloody wounds on Thoth-Amon (played by former wrestler, Pat Roach) in his monster form.

CONAN THE DESTROYER did very well at the box office -- more so in worldwide gross than domestic. It was a moderate success in America. Its total  here lies somewhere between $26-32 million (on an estimated $18 million budget), and a global gross over $100 million. A third film was inevitable, but it didn't happen due to contractual entanglements; and the failure of the vastly inferior RED SONJA (1985) effectively severed the Sword and Sorcery head in the USA, relegating the genre to video store status for many years.

At the time of the films release, Arnold said he saw himself playing Conan well into his twilight years. It appears he may well get his chance if LEGEND OF CONAN becomes a reality. Seeing both these earlier Schwarzenegger movies now, they're diametrically opposed to one another. Both bring different things to the table. Two different styles from two very different, yet highly respected directors. One is a visual feast with ideological underpinnings; while the other is a simplistic adventure story held together by a string of action packed set pieces. Get some friends, their cousin's sister's brothers, and kick back for a humorously barbaric good time.

This review is representative of the Universal Blu-ray.

Conan the Barbarian (1982) review

 

CONAN THE BARBARIAN 1982

Arnold Schwarzenegger (Conan), James Earl Jones (Thulsa Doom), Max Von Sydow (King Osric), Sandahl Bergman (Valeria), Gerry Lopez (Subotai), Ben Davidson (Rexor), Sven Ole-Thorsen (Thorgrim), Mako (Wizard/Chronicler), Valerie Quennessen (The Princess), William Smith (Conan's Father), Nadiuska (Conan's Mother)

Directed by John Milius

The Short Version: Irrefutably the signature, most influential Sword & Sorcery adventure. Arnold Schwarzenegger, with the aid of director Milius (and some assist by Oliver Stone), forged a character based on Robert E. Howard's original that became the pinnacle of all things cinematically barbaric. Heavy on violence and primeval doctrine, Conan cuts and clobbers his way through blood-strewn landscapes beneath his sandaled feet, by Crom.

 

A young Cimmerian grows up to avenge the slaying of his people at the hands of marauding cultists led by Thulsa Doom, an evil sorcerer with powers over men and beasts.

Robert E. Howard's famous creation came to the big screen in the form of musclebound Arnold Schwarzenegger, a role the Austrian bodybuilder was born to play (although devout Howard fans would disagree). Having already starred in films such as STAY HUNGRY (1976), THE VILLAIN (1979), and THE JAYNE MANSFIELD STORY (1980), it was this savage tale of high adventure that put Schwarzenegger on the map, and made him a legend in cinematic history. Milius's script (Oliver Stone gets co-credit, but little of his input survives) mixes and matches various Howard stories and characters to create the film version of Conan. Opinions differ on Milius's faithfulness, and or adherence to Robert E. Howard's original material. If anything, CONAN THE BARBARIAN led many to the flock of Howard worshipers to see more of who and what this Cimmerian warrior was.

The entire look of the film is meticulous in its execution. The alluring landscapes captured by Duke Callaghan's camera gives the adventure that sweeping aura such pictures need; and Ron Cobb's production design is the finest example of prehistory architecture the Sword and Sorcery genre has ever seen. There are a number of moments where the film looks like a Frazetta, or Boris painting come to life.

 
A review on this movie would be remiss without mentioning the fantastic score by Basil Poledouris. His soundtrack is one of the keys to CONAN's success. It's hard to imagine the film without it. Of the upper echelon of manly music, just hearing the main theme is enough to make a guy feel like forging his own sword; or chopping down some trees at the very least. Words don't do Basil's goosebump inducing score justice. It's just that damn good.

 
As Basil's bombastic overture and elegant cues overpower many scenes, there's not a great deal of dialog in this movie; which is good considering it plays like an opera. There's more blood and body parts per square inch compared to the number of lines uttered throughout. The visuals sell Milius's movie. His penchant for engaging speeches serves the film well, piling on macho bravado and philosophical pontifications like Arnold packing on pounds of muscle in the gym.

Coincidentally, Schwarzenegger was inhumanly massive prior to working on CONAN. He ended up losing 30 pounds as per the directors request so as to look less like a man straight out of the gym, and more like one whose sculpted form came from strength through adversity. 

  
Talking about Tough Guys, there's none tougher than perennial 70s macho man, Big William Smith, the very definition of the Tough Guy. Reportedly passed over to play the title barbarian, Smith ultimately snagged the role of the man that brings Conan into the world. Despite his brief screen time, Smith has stated in interviews he was on set for 13 weeks, and during his stay, he found time to beat Arnold at arm wrestling. I wonder if anyone ever asked Smith what was best in life?

James Earl Jones and that memorably deep tonality essays Thulsa Doom -- formerly a rampaging merchant of metal (relieving both the swords and the lives from those with impressive bladesmanship), and now the messianic leader of a cannibalistic cult of snake worshiping hippies. 

Jones is a firm believer in The Riddle of Steel; that, in his interpretation, flesh is stronger than steel -- "what is steel compared to the hand that wields it?" This clashes with Conan's father's proclamation that you can put faith in no one in this world, but steel you can trust. As it turns out, Conan's father's sword (that is forged over the opening credits) is broken during his battle with Rexor; and Doom's flesh doesn't stop him from having his head separated from his shoulders at the end by the same broken sword that he'd stolen at the films beginning. During their last meeting, Doom reminds Conan that he has made him, and all that he is; even referring to him as his son. He states, "I am the wellspring from which you flow" -- this just before Conan makes Doom's neck a wellspring from which his blood flows. I will go out on a (severed) limb and state that The Riddle of Steel is answered only by the flesh of the man that holds it. Individualism. A man's destiny.

CONAN THE BARBARIAN is arguably the supreme example of the Sword and Sorcery genre (although THE SWORD & THE SORCERER from the same year gives it a run for its money), yet there's a lot of the former, and very little of the latter. Milius made a conscious decision to keep as much of the film grounded in reality as opposed to a full-on story peppered with supernatural fantasy. What little fantastical elements survive lack optical effects enhancements, and have an organic feel about them. Thulsa Doom's evil magic is subtle -- relegated mostly to hypnotic powers. His ability to transform into an enormous snake is seen in very brief shots; the camera cutting away to our stealthy heroes maneuvering around the underground lair amidst a cannibalistic orgy; Doom's power over serpents allows his dark magic to turn them into poisonous arrows; and this is the extent of his sorcerous ways visualized onscreen.

The bloodletting in CONAN was unparalleled in American mainstream cinema at the time. Milius alludes to his gory prehistoric savagery in his 1973 feature, DILLINGER, an AIP production with an abundance of red erupting from the many holes made by machine gun fire. His penchant for Shaw Brothers level of splatter was in evidence there, and was mastered by the time CONAN rolled around. The cannibal orgy towards the end, while never gratuitous, is pushing the envelope. You can see corpses being split open, or strung up, headless for their meal preparation. Possibly one day a version will surface with much of the cut footage put back in (more on that below). 

The inclusion of the Wolf Witch that literally, and very nearly tears into Conan's flesh during a sex session is as Dungeons & Dragons as it gets outside of the animated demons that attempt to claim a nearly dead Conan. There's also a giant, mechanical snake. According to the actress that played the witch, Cassandra Gaviola (Gava), she made another appearance in the picture, but this encore cut in the final edit.

The giant snake is a pretty impressive construct. According to articles related to the films making at that time, this mechanical monstrosity was 36 feet long, and cost $100,000 to build. Reportedly it didn't work very often. A giant rubber snake was also used.

Looking back, CONAN THE BARBARIAN likely would have lost some of its visceral punch had there been more fantasy elements. The violence would have been alleviated to a degree. It's just the right amount for the sort of tale its storyteller wanted to tell.

SEEING CONAN THE BARBARIAN FOR THE FIRST TIME

As a then 7 year old, I remember having an increasingly heightened curiosity leading up to CONAN's release back in 1982. I'd been introduced to the character not from Howard's novels, but via Marvel's color comic book, and their far more adult B/W comic magazine, The Savage Sword of Conan the Barbarian. I was never allowed to own the latter till I was 9 years old in 1984. I'd always read them at the barber shop much to my mother's chagrin. I didn't care about the car magazines on the table in there, I cared about Conan. The comic book was fine with my mom since it was nowhere near as gruesome, nor was it fraught with sexual proclivities like the magazine. It was forbidden, so naturally I gravitated towards it. I remember the son of my babysitter in the early 80s was huge into Heavy Metal music and the barbarian iconography that was a natural fit for that musical styling. His walls were adorned with fantasy paraphernalia; much of it revolving around Sandahl Bergman, including a life-sized poster on the inside of his room door. When CONAN was released on videocassette later in the year, my father bought a copy of it. My mom's sister and her boyfriend were invited over to watch it. Naturally, I was not allowed to see it, but I did sneak down the stairs leading into the den to hear some of what was transpiring onscreen. After my parents divorced in 1983 I was able to finally see CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982), and I was not disappointed at all. CTB was a big influence on me as a young kid, aiding in shaping interests I still hold today. I enjoy this picture just as much now as I did back then.

Reportedly threatened with an 'X' rating multiple times, CONAN THE BARBARIAN had to be trimmed for its 'R' rating. Cut scenes, or unfilmed sequences were numerous with many of them involving gore and violence. A selection of these are listed below:

• Conan's mother's decapitation was shown, but the effect was said to have not been realistic enough, so it was cut, and the shot of only her hair as the head falls was used. Personally, this actually works better than had a severed head twitching in the snow been seen.

• The Pit Fighting sequence was said to have run much longer -- with a running series of battles -- as opposed to the montage edited together for the final cut. Valeria was to have been introduced there, although it would seem she and Conan don't meet at this point. A female gladiator is among those Conan battles with. A few shots of this duel are in the finished version, but we aren't aware it's a woman. Conan fells her with his weapon, then decapitates the woman warrior, hoisting her head in the air. The shot of Conan holding up a severed head in the film is from this scene.

• In one of the villages Conan and Subotai visit, a thief attempts to steal his sword. The Cimmerian responds with relieving the man of his hand. Publicity materials feature this scene, but it's not in the release version.

• When Conan, Subotai, and Valeria climb the Tower of the Snake, they encounter a three-eyed monster (two in front, and one in the back of its head) that is summarily put down by Subotai. Considering Milius wanted to avoid too much of a supernatural influence, it's logical this scene was discarded for that reason.

• A different ending was written, but never shot that had Conan and Subotai parting ways in a closing bit of male bonding. 

 

With the films popularity around the world, that meant clones and rip-offs were a bounty reaped by hungry movie producers seeking a big hit of their own. Italy was where the bulk of the CONAN clones came from, and none of them approached the majesty of Milius's movie. A handful were made on domestic shores, too. Some of the best are the aforementioned THE SWORD & THE SORCERER (1982), THE BEASTMASTER (1982), DEATHSTALKER (1983), and HUNDRA (1983); that last title is of special interest in that it's a female version of the story with an equally spectacular score by Ennio Morricone. Incidentally, HUNDRA got a rip-off in the form of RED SONJA (1985), co-starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Some of the best of the worst offenders are ATOR, THE FIGHTING EAGLE (1982), THE SWORD & THE BARBARIAN (1983), THE WARRIOR & THE SORCERESS (1984), and WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM (1985).

 

A sequel to CONAN came in 1984 titled CONAN THE DESTROYER. It delivered a far heavier dose of fantasy and monsters that the original lacked. Audience reaction was even more divided this second go round. In 2011, a mostly horrible remake surfaced from Lionsgate. A 90 million mega-bomb, it was a failed attempt to create a new franchise with character spin-offs. Amazingly, producers are trying again with a reported LEGEND OF CONAN film starring Arnold in what has been reported the first of a trilogy. It remains to be seen if this becomes a reality considering the poor showing of the remake, and lack of audience interest in Arnold's spate of films since his comeback.

Arguably the finest example of the Sword and Sorcery formula, John Milius created a unique world that was influential on cinema around the globe. It cemented its star as a legend among the new crop of Hollywood action heroes that dominated the 1980s. Castigated by some, and celebrated by many, CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982) asks what is best in a celluloid legacy -- to crush the opposition, see pretenders driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of your detractors, by Crom. 

This review is representative of the Universal Blu-ray.