Cool Ass Comedies: Saturday the 14th (1981) review

SATURDAY THE 14TH 1981

Richard Benjamin (John), Paula Prentiss (Mary), Jeffrey Tambor (Waldemar), Severn Darden (Van Helsing), Kari Michaelson (Debbie), Kevin Brando (Billy), Roberta Collins (Cousin Rhonda)

Directed by Howard R. Cohen

It gets bad on Friday the 13th...But it gets worse on Saturday the 14th

The Short Version: New World horror spoof made in the wake of the far superior LOVE AT FIRST BITE from 1979. Possessing a funny moment here and there, it's mostly a missed opportunity in this haunted house hokum. It's worth revisiting for purposes of nostalgia, but most others will want to "get out of this house".


A family inherits a big, spooky estate and finds an over-sized volume entitled 'The Book of Evil' hidden within. Upon opening the book, monsters featured within its pages magically come to life and wander the grounds terrorizing the residents and generally make a nuisance of themselves. Meanwhile, a vampiric couple who are searching for the book, ultimately match wits with a man named Van Helsing, now working as an exterminator.


Howard R. Cohen has done some monumentally monotonous movies such as the infrequently diverting SPACE RAIDERS (1983), the incredibly anemic DEATHSTALKER 4: MATCH OF TITANS (1990) and an incredibly boring and unfunny sequel to the film in question under the title SATURDAY THE 14TH STRIKES BACK (1988). SATURDAY THE 14TH is one of those movies you remember from your childhood that appealed to you then, but upon seeing it again years later, you ask yourself just what in the hell the big deal was. That's not to say there aren't some funny moments here. Actually, as the movie progresses, it becomes mildly amusing peppered with a few funny gags here and there.

"My god, look at all these owls!"

I assume with this coming close on the heels of the AIP hit, LOVE AT FIRST BITE (1979), New World was hoping for a similar reaction. This was likely the reason Richard Benjamin was chosen for the head of the haunted household since he was key to the funny business in that George Hamilton disco vampire opus. Benjamin is cast alongside his real life wife, Paula Prentiss as the wholesome husband and wife who moves into this cobweb entrenched domicile with their two children; pseudo hilarity ensues. Maybe hilarity is too strong a word? The animated opening credits sequence gets things started off right with its coughing wolf and bat that keeps bumping into things (he's blind as a bat, get it?).


There's bats in the belfry, the television only plays 'The Twilight Zone' and something with enormous hands has been washing the dishes late at night. One of the best and funniest moments (probably the most well known sequence in the film) involves the daughter, the pretty Kari Michaelsen (Katie from GIMME A BREAK and who possesses one of the most shrill banshee screams ever), taking a bath only for a fin to appear swimming around beneath the bubbles as the JAWS theme plays on the soundtrack. Emerging from the soapy depths is the creature from the bubble bath while subtitles reveal that the out-sized flounder just wants the big book of spooky stuff.

"She's not my type! She's hundreds of years too young for me!"

When Van Helsing (played with subdued, kooky zeal by Severn Darden) enters the picture, the minor league laughs become more frequent. They decide to have a ghoulishly gala house warming party with the monsters as uninvited guests. It's then revealed that Van Helsing is the unlikely bad guy who then squares off against the vampire couple in a childish, second rate AIRPLANE! finale that recalls the superior duel of wizards from Corman's THE RAVEN (1963).

"Without my first cup of coffee in the morning, I can't see straight."

There's a nice little nod to both Corman's LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (1960) and Polanski's ROSEMARY'S BABY (1968), Jeffrey Tambor as a vampire named Waldemar, a police officer who tries to get the Gill Man to get his hands up and Benjamin making a Scooby Doo sandwich with every meat and cheese known to man and topped off with peanut butter. Also, the MONSTERS have a MAD PARTY in the kitchen late one night and Richard Benjamin finds a pair of eyeballs in his coffee (Is this a "sight" gag?). These are some of the funny and not so funny moments in this horr-ible spoof that hearkens to the old monster and haunted house pictures of old. You'll even spy some occasional product placement such as Coca Cola, minute maid and good ole' Count Chocula.


Far from being a good movie, I still have an affinity for it mostly from a nostalgia perspective. It's possibly the funniest of New World's horror spoofs including this films sequel and also the later star-studded TRANSYLVANIA 6-5000 (1985). Proceed at your own risk as watching may bring the viewer bad luck.

Night of the Eagle (1963) review

NIGHT OF THE EAGLE 1963 aka BURN, WITCH, BURN!

Peter Wyngarde (Norman Taylor), Janet Blair (Tansy), Margaret Johnston (Flora Carr)

Directed by Sidney Hayers

The Short Version: This exceptional example of British horror about witchcraft benefits greatly from fine performances and a mounting tension that explodes during the scary and supernatural finale. It's one of the best, and seemingly least discussed films on the subject of the occult.


Norman Taylor is a psychology professor at Hempnell Medical College covering topics of superstitious beliefs throughout the ages. He later finds out his wife, Tansy, is secretly engaged in witchery after discovering various mystical paraphernalia about his home. She states that these objects are protection from those who wish him harm. Disbelieving, he forces her to burn her primitive magical accouterments. Immediately thereafter, terrible things begin to happen to Norman eventually forcing him to rethink his own rational beliefs. He comes to the terrible realization that someone he knows is a practitioner of black magic and that they fully intend on killing both him and his wife.


This strikingly well made British chiller is based on the novel, 'Conjure Wife' by Fritz Leiber. It benefits from a hauntingly taut script by Richard Matheson and Charles Beaumont (and a third writer, George Baxt), both whom contributed their pens to classic episodes of THE TWILIGHT ZONE. Aside from some top tier talent working on the script, the director had previously helmed the trashy color film, CIRCUS OF HORRORS (1960) a few years earlier. This was a stark contrast when compared to the meticulously handled B/W horror of NIGHT OF THE EAGLE which, apparently, was inspiration to Dario Argento for his SUSPIRIA (1977).


What makes Hayers film stand out above many others is that it isn't strictly a horror film, but also a psychological terror tale. It isn't until the last half that the supernatural elements take precedence. Norman Taylor is a pompous, yet logical man who believes in what is tangible and explainable through science. In his modern world, there's no room for oldeworld eccentricities and the primitive practices of frightened, uncivilized people. How totally shocked and taken aback he is when he discovers his wife dabbles in sorcery and wears talismans.


Rebuking her stance that his success and wealth are due to her protection through magic, Taylor nonetheless pushes Tansy to burn all her artifacts despite her insistent trepidation. By the end of the film, his previous declaration of "I do not believe" etched onto the chalkboard in his classroom is inadvertently changed to "I do believe" when he backs against the board out of fear when chased by a giant eagle during the finale.


Hayers movie bears similarities to other choice B/W demonic horror movies of the time such as Jacques Tourneur's NIGHT OF THE DEMON (1957) and John Llewellyn Moxey's CITY OF THE DEAD (1960). The former with its foreboding fear of the unknown and the tangible presence of evil in the form of a terrifying demonic beast parallels the giant eagle summoned through black magic in Hayers movie. The latter is similar in its structure and several characters, although Moxey's movie is more preoccupied with being drenched in eerie atmosphere than the densely plotted exposition of the Hayers picture.


Distributed in America through AIP under the more widely known aka of BURN, WITCH, BURN! (1963), that title is a line of dialog spoken late in the movie. It's also a line uttered in an energetic fashion by Christopher Lee in the previously mentioned CITY OF THE DEAD (1960). There's also some excellent lighting here that accentuates the peculiar and frequent sense of dread that culminates in a well shot and tense ending sequence wherein Taylor is accosted by a giant eagle from hell. Peter Wyngarde (he was Klytus in FLASH GORDON) is the lead among a cast of skeptics and mystics. He commands the screen as the protagonist and everyone else are quite mesmerizing in their portrayals.


Announced, but never released to DVD in America (as of this writing, anyway), it is available in Europe at least in a very nice looking package. This is a seldom discussed horror thriller that deserves far more recognition and a film that is one of the best films to deal with the subject of witchcraft and the occult.

This review is representative of the Italian Sinister Film R2 PAL DVD