Prisoners of the Lost Universe (1983) review

 

PRISONERS OF THE LOST UNIVERSE 1983

Richard Hatch (Dan Roebuck), Kay Lenz (Carrie Madison), John Saxon (Kleel), Peter O'Farrell (Malachai), Kenneth Hendel (Dr. Hartmann), Ray Charleson (The Greenman), Philip Van Der Byl (Kahar, the Manbeast), Larry Taylor (Vosk), Dawn Abraham (Shareen), Giant Nabu (Danie Voges), Myles Robertson (Waterbeast)

Directed by Terry Marcel

The Short Version: Easily one of the goofiest, monetarily emaciated, yet charming fantasy movies ever made. The original BATTLESTAR GALACTICA's Richard Hatch and RICH MAN, POOR MAN's Kay Lenz are trapped in South Africa subbing for some prehistoric parallel universe. In trying to get back home they run into various human-looking creatures that are defined by what color paint they're covered in. Lenz is captured by resident warlord, Kleel, and Richard must Hatch a plan to rescue her. Amassing a Magnificent 3/4 of a Seven, they launch an assault on Kleel's cardboard fortress surrounded by a kindling wood fence. A bad movie in every way, the filmmakers of this DUNGEONS AND DRAGONless hodgpodge still manage to create a fairly brisk, and fun viewing experience; the sort you'd find in a vintage serial or an Edward L. Cahn movie from the 1950s.

After a light earthquake in California, TV star and host of 'The Weird and the Wacky', Carrie Madison, crosses paths with agitated repairman Dan Roebuck. Fate brings them to the office of Dr. Hartmann, a scientist working on a Matter Transmitter device. The scientist hopes to use Carrie's television program to show the world what he's accomplished. When the doctor is accidentally sent into a parallel universe by his own machine, Dan and Carrie inadvertently follow suit and end up in a world called Vonya. In between encounters with strange creatures and the brutal warlord Kleel, Dan and Carrie try to find Dr. Hartmann and their way back home.

What this British SciFi silliness lacks in budget it makes up for with dollops of energy and the sort of goofy matinee charm reminiscent of the serials of the 1930s and 1940s; even the title has this old-fashioned, cliffhanger quality about it. It would seem Marcel and his crew were cognizant of the high camp they were making. Evident in the funny dialog of Marcel and co-writer Harry Robinson's script, it's a brisk 90 minutes with likable characters and near-constant action. The speedy pace is propelled by a rollicking, lively score by co-writer Robinson that, while a better fit for a better movie, makes PRISONERS OF THE LOST UNIVERSE all the more palatable.

Robinson (also going by the name of Harry Robertson) had a knack for putting together big music cues for small movies, including some Hammer classics like the Karnstein trilogy. One of those films, TWINS OF EVIL (1971), has some of its cues reworked for use in this picture.

 
Fantasy movies were extremely popular in the 1980s. Pictures like CLASH OF THE TITANS (1981) and CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982) helped put the genre at the forefront. Some melded the genre with SciFi like KRULL (1983); while others like TIME BANDITS (1981) and THE NEVERENDING STORY (1984) were heavy on the surrealism. A Showtime cable premiere in the US but theatrical everywhere else, PRISONERS OF THE LOST UNIVERSE (1983) mixes SciFi with Fantasy--essentially the same template as director Marcel's previous effort, HAWK THE SLAYER from 1980. The difference in the above-mentioned movies is that they had big budgets behind them. All PRISONERS has is a few bucks. Lively dialog, a child-like appeal and passionate performances by the main cast is like a million dollars in its favor.

Shot in Cape Town, South Africa, the mostly wooded locales could have just as easily been photographed in the US or even the UK. The lack of sets (what's on display look cheap and ramshackle) and makeup effects these types of movies need shines a spotlight on the anemic budget. You know there wasn't much money to go around when the same small tree--in trying to pass for weird vegetation--keeps cropping up with what appears to be Tupperware bowls glued to the branches. There are a few cramped sets and some huts with a mini-cardboard castle in the middle that's supposed to be Kleel's stronghold. It wouldn't pass muster in a Roger Corman DEATHSTALKER (1983) sequel.

An essential element of Fantasy films is that they have monsters or sorcery lurking somewhere within their plot lines. PRISONERS OF THE LOST UNIVERSE has them, but they're mostly the DIY variety. The "creatures" of Vonya consist of actors painted green or covered in flour with potato sacks draped over them. There's also two giants--one of which is painted gold (kind of like the metallic automatons of 1964s TRIUMPH OF HERCULES) and the other is a club-carrying neolith that looks like he was kicked out of the cannibal clan in THE HILLS HAVE EYES (1977). 

 
We also have a thing called a "Waterbeast"--an actor wearing a reptilian face mask but human-looking from the neck down. Actors covered in white paint with black stripes wearing grass skirts and vases on their heads are another. As for the humans in the cast.....

Richard Hatch (Captain Apollo on the original BATTLESTAR GALACTICA) and Kay Lenz (RICH MAN, POOR MAN) have chemistry between them and carry the picture where the fantastical elements do not. With little plot and even less special effects to speak of, the spirited dialog (barely) holds it together--even if the production as a whole is like a wet band-aid on a cut. Hatch is an irritable, foul-mouthed, Kendo-fighting electrician (hey, if Flash Gordon can be a football player...) while Lenz, looking like she just stepped out of a tanning booth, is spunky, sarcastic, and does her best Melody Anderson impersonation.

John Saxon, veteran thespian of countless movies (some of which he probably wishes he'd never appeared in), gives it his all as Kleel, the warlord; a barbarian who rules with an iron hand (that's frequently wrapped around Kay Lenz's throat) from the flimsiest fortress ever conceived. While everyone around him has their tongues in their cheeks, Saxon plays it dead straight; resulting in one of his most entertaining roles.

Other than Kay Lenz, the pretty Dawn Abraham is the traditional cheesecake of the Fantasy genre. Unfortunately, her character isn't the Sandahl Bergman or Sabrina Siani type. With little dialog and nothing much to do but be menaced and rescued, it's a throwaway role that benefits the protagonist and antagonist more than herself. Other than a few TV credits, Ms. Abraham appeared in the action flick, DEADLY PREY in 1987.

If you're a fan of the same director's HAWK THE SLAYER (1980), you know what you're in for; only this follow-up looks more impoverished. There's no Jack Palance, but fans of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA (1978-1979) will get a kick out of an enthusiastic Richard Hatch doing a samurai impression. Less tolerant PRISONER viewers will break out of this UNIVERSE rather quickly, but bad movie buffs and some seeking a kitsch quick fix will be perfectly fine getting LOST in it for 90+ minutes.

This review is representative of the PAL Screenbound Bluray/DVD combo. Bluray reviewed. Specs and Extras: 1080p 16x9 1.66:1; Extras: Interview with Director Terry Marcel; Original trailer; running time: 1:31:08.

Blazing Magnum (1976) review

BLAZING MAGNUM 1976 aka UNA MAGNUM SPECIAL PER TONY SAITTA (A SPECIAL MAGNUM FOR TONY SAITTA) aka SHADOWS IN AN EMPTY ROOM aka STRANGE SHADOWS IN AN EMPTY ROOM

Stuart Whitman (Captain Tony Saitta), John Saxon (Sergeant Matthews), Martin Landau (Dr. George Tracer), Tisa Farrow (Julie Foster), Carole Laure (Louise Saitta), Gayle Hunnicutt (Margie Cohn)

Directed by Alberto De Martino (as Martin Herbert)

***WARNING! This review contains one image of nudity***

The Short Version: One of the most outrageous of the Euro crimer's is this co-pro with Canada that is half Giallo, half Violent Cop actioner. Whitman's Crazy Tony Saitta makes Eastwood's Dirty Harry look like a school crossing guard--roughing up suspects and getting the bad guys while never letting things like pedestrians or collateral damage get in his way. Comically over the top, the triple tranny free-for-all throws any seriousness straight out the window; while the pinnacle is reached with a near 8 minute car chase where the two dueling vehicles do everything but pirouettes all over the streets of Montreal. The big reveal at the end is as much of a  shocker as the scene that follows it featuring Saitta and his magnum versus a helicopter. 

While Captain Tony Saitta is gunning down a car full of bank robbers his sister Louise is playing a practical joke on her secret lover, Dr. Tracer. Moments later she's poisoned for real by party, or parties unknown. With a handful in her circle being possible suspects, Saitta is hellbent on finding out who did it and why. Relentlessly pursuing clues, the trail leads him to a myriad number of individuals, corpses, and shocking revelations that all have one thing in common--a valuable, stolen, oriental black pearl necklace.

The 1970s was a decade full of tumult and crime; a time period that was just as ripe for celluloid exploration as it was exploitation. Nihilism in film took hold and stories of stoic heroes were often replaced by caricatures whose sense of right and wrong was diametrically opposed to traditional archetypes. Among the most popular of these neo-heroes were found in modern day cop thrillers like Don Siegel's DIRTY HARRY (1970) starring Clint Eastwood. Over in Europe, filmmakers exploited their own societal chaos in a few hundred crime pictures of their own. Many of them were genuinely well crafted movies and a great many more were exercises in sadism. BLAZING MAGNUM is somewhere in between.

 
For Alberto De Martino's BLAZING MAGNUM (1976), Stuart Whitman was one of the few non-European actors to headline one of their cop movies. A co-production with a Canadian company and shot in Montreal, BLAZING MAGNUM contains numerous plot twists and wildly over the top action sequences that are far too extreme for the simplicity of the actual crime that has been committed. While privy to the destruction of public and private property, Saitta's immediate reaction afterward isn't to place the suspect under arrest but to state in the most casual tone imaginable, "I need some information". 

Whitman, among the old school lineage of rugged Tough Guys still with us, is very believable in the role of the weathered, tired police captain who is determined to find his sister's killer. The seriousness of the role (and the film itself) is occasionally distracted; particularly in the film's three major highlights described below....

When a cross-dresser turns up as ground beef in a rock crusher, Saitta seeks out some of his/her associates. What follows is one of the more peculiar sequences in the annals of exploitation movies. Bewilderingly, Saitta enters the apartment by force. When one of the roommates slings a bottle at him in defiance he responds with, "take it easy, I want some information". Right after a retort of, "I'll give you a mouthful of information", the man-girls immediately begin the Brawl In Montreal--a three-on-one battle royale with bodies flying across the room, crashing into furniture, and kicked through glass windows. Culminating in one of the trannies having a hot curling iron rammed up his ass, the post-fight convo between Saitta and the bottle-tossing, wig-wearing cross-dresser is unusually civil, "Truce, truce sweetie... why don't you just tell me what you want?"

 

The showstopper of BLAZING MAGNUM is an utterly brilliant 8 minute car chase--a veritable ballet of fuel injected twisted metal choreographed by French stunt driving king Remy Julienne. Cars leap through the air, plow through assorted obstacles, and swerve and spin in perfect unison; like a kung fu movie but with cars. Easily among the most stunning and varied vehicular chases in cinema history, Remy's work is likewise seen in other Italian police movies like Castellari's trendsetting HIGH CRIME (1973), Di Leo's SHOOT FIRST, DIE LATER (1974), and HIGHWAY RACER (1977), Stelvio Massi's first movie with mega-star Maurizio Merli. Amazingly, after both cars have caused unknown amounts of damage, looking as battle-weary as those in any of your finer MAD MAX clones, this sequence caps the same way the above-mentioned tranny tussle ends.... with Saitta, in relaxed fashion, asking the perp for information.

Finally, BLAZING MAGNUM's cult reputation is further enhanced by a jaw-dropping finale (that is if your jaw isn't already on the floor) wherein Saitta dutifully, and quite carelessly, earns the film's Italian title by magnumizing a helicopter piloted by a fleeing killer. Putting ten bullets from his .44 magnum into the whirly-birds metal hide, the chopper crashes to the ground followed by the requisite explosion. With a total disregard for the damage and deaths that could result, Saitta always gets his man at any cost.

Ted Post's MAGNUM FORCE (1973) was a huge hit around the world. Known in Italy as UNA 44 MAGNUM PER L'ISPETTORE CALLAHAN (A 44 MAGNUM FOR INSPECTOR CALLAHAN), the title of De Martino's movie mimics the one for the Eastwood sequel. Translated as A SPECIAL MAGNUM FOR TONY SAITTA, his .44 isn't on display nearly as much as it is in the Eastwood picture(s). Whitman whips it out during the opening robbery/car chase and it's not used again till the ending.

According to the director, Whitman did the film to get out of the US for a while since he'd gotten into some trouble with another woman's husband. In the film, Whitman is very effective as the frustrated lawman, wearing the role like a glove. It's a shame he didn't return to the character and the genre, although it was on the decline at this point.

 
The prolific John Saxon is always a welcome presence, and starred in a handful of these movies. Playing Sgt. Matthews, Saxon is just sort of there for added star power, accompanying Whitman from one scene to the next, never getting too involved in the action. Of the big three Martin Landau is the actor who shines the brightest as the doctor who may or may not be directly connected with Louise Saitta's murder. Landau adds a lot of nuance to his role, which amounts to a glorified cameo.

Alberto De Martino was one of Italy's best directors for escapist entertainment and works that were derivative of American hits. His resume is dotted with notable popcorn fluff like MEDUSA AGAINST THE SON OF HERCULES (1963) and THE TRIUMPH OF HERCULES (1964); and more serious productions like the excellent GODFATHER styled THE COUNSELOR (1973) with Tomas Milian and Martin Balsam, and the infamous EXORCIST-alike THE ANTICHRIST (1974) and the OMENesque HOLOCAUST 2000 (1977) starring Kirk Douglas. Alberto died June 2nd, 2015.

When AIP released the movie in America in early 1977, their ad campaign made the most of the film's thriller elements while hiding its juicer assets. Settling for the curious sounding STRANGE SHADOWS IN AN EMPTY ROOM, this moniker would've been a better fit if the picture was minus the action quotient. It just seems like a missed opportunity mislabeling the movie in this way. The same fate befell Tulio Demicheli's dull, but ultra-sleazy RICCO THE MEAN MACHINE (1973). FVI released it stateside with an even more blatant horror title with THE CAULDRON OF DEATH! As misleading as that title was, it correlates to a method of death seen in the picture. 

The late Aristide Massacessi does a phenomenal job with his photography. Better known as Joe D'Amato (one of his numerous pseudonyms), Massacessi captures the right sort of mood for both styles presented in the movie. Whether it's generating suspense in the thriller portions of the movie or revving viewer adrenaline during the action set pieces, Massacessi was one of Italy's most versatile filmmakers. Known primarily for his work in porn and horror movies, Massacessi would be directing Tisa Farrow in the notorious ANTHROPOPHAGUS in 1980.

 
Mia's sister plays a blind girl, a close friend of Louise Saitta's. Her role is little more than a scripting device used to punctuate a couple suspense sequences. She didn't do very many movies, but she's a familiar face to fans of genre movies. She followed up this crime thriller with a role in the cult TV terror THE INITIATION OF SARAH (1978), the Canadian actioner SEARCH AND DESTROY (1979), and back to Italy again for ZOMBIE (1979), THE LAST HUNTER (1980), and the aforementioned trash classick, ANTHROPOPHAGUS (1980). She appeared nude in both Playboy and the film SOME CALL IT LOVING in 1973.

Much like their westerns, Italian crime pictures are often cited for their unique soundtracks. Armando Trovajoli's (LONG DAYS OF VENGEANCE [1967]) score is mostly jazz-funk with very little action music to match the exploitation pandering. Some good cues here, but mostly favorable to the murder mystery aspects of the narrative.

There had been other movies that combined the giallo with crime tropes but none had been as audaciously excessive as Alberto De Martino's cocktail of crudity. For his MAGNUM opus, the director juggles the artistic with the absurd quite well--wringing strong performances from Whitman, Saxon and Landau while catering to trash sensibilities with an injection of gratuitous nudity and bloody moments. Long a favorite of cult film enthusiasts who scoured bootleg outfits for obscure treasure, the exploits of Saitta and his magnum make for a very special movie for Drive-in/42nd Street aficionados.

This review is representative of the Kino Lorber/Scorpion bluray. Specs and Extras: 1080p widescreen 1.85:1; BLAZING MAGNUM trailer; other trailers; running time: 1:39:12.