COOL ASS COMEDIES
This new section is devoted to obscure comedies that were either overlooked, or snubbed by a moviegoing public during their initial theatrical run. Some have cult followings and others are just comedies that have nostaligic appeal to me. This first entry is a personal favorite of mine and contains some pics from a lobby set I have in my collection....
UP THE ACADEMY 1980
Ron Leibman (Major Vaughn Liceman/uncredited), Wendell Brown (Ike), Tommy Citera (Hash), J. Hutchison (Oliver), Ralph Macchio (Chooch), Harry Teinowitz (Rodney Ververgaert), Stacey Nelkin (Candy), Tom Poston (Skip Sisson), Ian Wolfe (Comdt. Nelson Causeway), Antonio Fargas (Coach), Barbara Bach (Bliss)
Directed by Robert Downey
***WARNING! This review contains language of an adult nature***
When National Lampoon's ANIMAL HOUSE (1978) became a massive success, the boys behind MAD Magazine figured they had as good a chance as any at producing a monetary sensation of their own. What they came up with was UP THE ACADEMY. But this ambitious leap from the pages of a popular comic magazine to the screen was a tumultuous journey that ended in disaster for most everyone involved.
The script from Jay Tarses and Tom Patchett was a bit more salacious than the founder of MAD, Bill Gaines, was willing to accept for his approval. A number of scenes were dropped (including those with nudity or sex), or cut altogether leaving a film that was still very much politically incorrect.
There are a number of racial jokes aimed at different minorities including Arabs, African Americans and Italians. There's also jokes and characters that poke fun of homosexuality and then there's flatulence humor which seems to be all the rage over the last ten years since writers are seemingly incapable of creating a comedy script that relies on wordplay to get laughs.
The bean eating sequence in BLAZING SADDLES (1974) is the pinnacle of fart jokes. UP THE ACADEMY has a character (the Commandant played by Ian Wolfe) who farts incessantly and the gag is played for all it's worth. A comment is made that "Anybody can get laid in a whorehouse". We then see the Comdt. being thrown from a trailer housing some prostitutes. Fanning the air as the hookers close the door, the dissatisfied and unhappy old goat releases a couple more gas bombs into the air. Homosexuals, both male and female get ribbed a lot here as well.
As stated above, racial jokes abound throughout the film. Liceman refers to Hash as "Swami" and "Punjab" and Ike's religiously overzealous father refers to him as a "Jive ass nigga" at his intolerance of Ike's putting the moves on his step mothers. Antonio Fargas even gives him hell exclaiming he's a "disgrace to niggas' the world over", in response to his inability to grasp the basic fundamentals of soccer.
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Seeing it today, it isn't TOO offensive in light of everything that has come after it. But if one puts themselves back in 1980, there really wasn't another comedy quite as rude, or rebellious (at least not another I can think of). Downey's film could be viewed as the progenitor to every obnoxious and flatulence saturated comedy to come down the pike since its inception. Nonetheless, the long, hard road to the screen resulted in UP THE ACADEMY bearing the marks of chaotic editing and a disgruntled actor and producer.
The notion of friends is very important to Liceman as this passage attests, "Weinberg can be a very lonely place if you don't have friends...I know. I was seven years old when I first came to the academy. I didn't have any friends...nobody liked me..." Of course, the Major is incapable of making, or keeping friends just as Ike points out, "He didn't mean it when he said he wanted to be friends", prompting Chooch to respond with the illuminating and profound dialog, "No shit!"
Not only Leibman, but MAD Magazine also had their credit removed from the film in addition to a few appearances by their mascot, Alfred E. Neuman played by an actor with an Alfred mask on his head. However, VHS prints of the picture retained the MAD credit as well as the mascot appearances. The recent widescreen DVD release also contains these theatrical omissions.
Furthermore, Leibman's credit is missing on all known versions. MAD was so irate and embarrassed over their involvement they did one of their famous spoofs of the film in their magazine, only this was more spiteful and done in a detestable manner condemning the film and the periodicals association with the production.
It's a shame, though, that MAD didn't just let the writers cut loose with the material as they could have truly created something rude, crude and socially unacceptable. UP THE ACADEMY crosses that line, but seldom takes the ball and runs with it. Instead, it kind of just kicks it around a bit here and there.
Liceman: (Liceman finds some stolen golden candlesticks) "Now...you take these candlesticks here for instance I do not think they belong in there now do they, punjab?"
Hash: "They were a gift from my uncle, sir."
Liceman: "You pick'em up."
Hash: "Yes, sir."
Liceman: "I ever catch you stealin' again, boy, I'm gonna rip ya balls off."
Hash: "Fair enough, sir."
Liceman: "Say it again."
Hash: "Fair enough, sir."
Liceman: "Say it again."
Hash: "Fair enough, sir."
Liceman: "Somethin' wrong with you, boy?"
Oliver: "No, it's just a little chilly in here."
Liceman: "Don't you mean it's just a little chilly in here, sir!"
Oliver: "Yes, sir."
Liceman: "Well say it!"
Oliver: "It's just a little chilly in here, sir!"
Liceman: "Say it again!"
Oliver: "It's just a little chilly in here, sir!!"
Liceman: "Say it again!!"
Oliver: "It's just a little chilly in here, sir!!!"
Liceman: (Having opened Olivers mail and warned him of going over the wall to see his girlfriend) "...Now, the rest of the letter's...just a bunch a...lovey dovey bullshit."
Oliver: "I'll tell her to stop that, sir."
Liceman: "Don't matter to me, boy. It's your mail."
Liceman: (To Oliver on whether he's been a good friend) "Now, sir...have I not been your friend?"
Oliver: "You have been my friend, sir."
Liceman: "Say it again."
Oliver: "You have been my friend, sir."
Liceman: "Say it again!"
Oliver: "You have been my friend, sir."
Liceman: (with evangelical conviction) "Say it again!!"
Oliver: "You have been my friend, sir."
Liceman: "Hash....that's what your friends call you now, isn't it, Hash?"
Hash: "Yes, sir."
Liceman: "Well, I am your friend, am I not?"
Hash: "Yes, sir."
Liceman: "May I call you Hash?"
Hash: "May I call you Lice?"
Liceman: "You like it when a gentleman ties you up?"
Potential sexual conquest #1: (with great surprise) "What?!?"
Liceman: "You know, with rope.....I got some parachute chord..."
Liceman: "....Tickle ya ass with a featha'?"
Potential sexual conquest #2: (with disgusted look on her face) "What...!"
Liceman: "I said, uh...it's particularly nasty weather...we been havin'"
And these....
Oliver: "I wrote to Candy over a week ago. Why hasn't she written me back?"
Ike: "She probably has. But you gotta be patient...it takes a long time for a letter to be delivered...to Hell!"
Rodney: "You don't wet your bed, do ya'?"
Chooch: "No, I generally just piss over the side."
Ike: (As voiceover) "Dear reverend pop. I caught your act on the radio today. I hope the record sales are good. Oh, I also met your friend, the Devil. His name is Liceman. And you're right, he is white."
Hash: (Upon reaching a gas station run by cretins) "May we have some service, please?"
Gas station redneck #1: "Self serve...asshole!"
Hash: "Oh, let me get it!"
Ike: "Can I borrow the key, please?"
Gas station redneck #1: "Don't need a key to go in the woods...boy."
Ike: "Yazza..."
Bliss: (Describing a weapon of one kind, but a metaphor for another) "This hard, cylindrical, blunt ended artillery shell...smooth to the touch, but highly explosive when shoooved...into the chamber and fired."
The acting is also unusually good for this type of movie and it's a shame virtually none of the main performers outside of Macchio went on to anything of substance afterwards. Many of the other actors were veterans of television and movies such as Antonio Fargas (FOXY BROWN, STARSKY & HUTCH) and Tom Poston (NEWHART).
Despite its rocky road to gain some form of recognition aside from its small cult following, there's far more characterization here than people give the film credit for. The film bombed during its original theatrical run, but managed to survive on cable television and a was a staple of USA's Up All Night program where it played in a seriously cut version.
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Finally receiving its long awaited due on DVD, Warner released the film a couple years ago in 2:35 widescreen so viewers can finally see some bits that were cut off the sides on the fullscreen VHS versions.
The only thing that would have made the package perfect would have been a documentary, or a commentary track discussing the films tumultuous trip to the big screen, or even the complete 26 track soundtrack as a second disc would probably be too much to ask for, but very much welcome. Oh, well, fans at last get the movie in letterboxed format. I'll "say it again", UP THE ACADEMY rocks as an unsung politically incorrect comedic cult classic.
This review is representative of the Warner Brothers DVD.
3 comments:
You are absolutely right about this jem! Leibman is fricking awesome, too! Great review.
Hey, Anonymous. Thanks for commenting. This is one of my favorite movies ever. A shame it's not appreciated more, then or now.
One of my favorites too. My Dad and I used to do the dialog from this movie often in our daily conversations. We would always crack up.
I hope more comment on your blog here. I hate when people read mine and pass on by.
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