The Best of Tales From the Darkside Season 4

Shot back-to-back with season three, the fourth season upped the violence and morbidity to a considerable level. Arguably the strongest of the quartet, it's unfortunate the series didn't continue for another run of episodes. Romero and Laurel did move on to another series, MONSTERS, that ran from 1988-1990. With the success of TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE (a movie version came in 1990), the producers attempted another horror-styled series, only that one never got off the ground. As for DARKSIDE's 4th, the subjects varied, as did the tone of the TALES. Some big names were on board as writers and directors, and the results were sometimes horrifying... as the following list attests.

Beetles (originally aired September 27th, 1987)

"The mummy is dead but the curse is alive!"

Specializing in collecting centuries old Egyptian artifacts, Archaeologist Arthur Hartley has uncovered a mummy believed to contain priceless jewels. Hammid Bey warns Hartley to return the sarcophagus, containing the mummy of a cursed temple virgin bearing the symbol of Kef-Rah, a Beetle God; if he doesn't, he will suffer under the same curse.

The 4th season opener is as deadly serious as the previous seasonal flagship episodes. The first of two mummy motifs (the other, comedic one stars Arnold Stang), this one discards the traditional shambler coming to life in favor of a living curse of the title insects. If you recall the gruesome fifth tale of CREEPSHOW (1982), you can guess how this one goes, only with less spectacular FX. There are a few other characters on hand, but basically, this is a one-man-one-locale segment. It's not as suspenseful as it could be, but Bryan Moore's mummy design is hideous enough.

Robert Bloch wrote the teleplay from his own story of the same name, first featured in the December issue of Weird Tales from 1938. This would be Frank De Palma's last episode of DARKSIDE he would direct.

No Strings (originally aired October 25th, 1987)

Mafiosi Eddie Minelli has finally gotten revenge after 18 years on Fat Paulie, a former business associate who had his hands in way too many pies somebody else baked. Minelli hires a famous puppeteer, Aldo De Calasuro, to help him celebrate the occasion with a morbid marionette act using Paulie's bullet-riddled body as the puppet.

A prime example of DARKSIDE utilizing a single location to its advantage, 'No Strings' is one of the most unpleasant episodes of the series. In the EC tradition, writer and director David Odell employs only the darkest of amusement in his tale of revenge from beyond the grave. Strangely, the retribution is meted out by a less than honorable character. T.J. Castronovo makes a great mobster with a truly sick sense of humor.

Director Odell penned the 80s Fantasy movies, THE DARK CRYSTAL (1982), SUPERGIRL (1984), and MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (1987). T.J. Castronovo produced nearly half the series run. 'No Strings' was his only acting gig on DARKSIDE. The actor directed two episodes as well.

Payment Overdue (originally aired February 14th, 1988)

"Things must be balanced so the dead can rest." 

Jeanette Simpson lives in a snazzy NYC apartment. She is a new worker at Sentinel Collection Agency. Delighting in the misery of those who cannot pay their bills, she begins receiving strange calls on her private line from Rita Valdez, a woman who had committed suicide for being so far in debt.

Richard Brenner wrote two DARKSIDE episodes--the other being 'The Swap' from the previous season. 'Payment Overdue' is a similar story in its context; a superlative example of 'Just Desserts' wherein a callous woman is forced to swap places with a lady whose death she inadvertently caused. Jeanette (played with the right amount of cold-hearted candor by Maura Swanson) is written as both a spiteful bitch and, as she tells it, a woman raised to be independent and self-sufficient. She says things like, "there are no real sad stories, only leeches... pretending". Then elsewhere she's boasting of getting an absent-minded client to use post-dated checks so as to threaten him with check fraud. The problem with this script is that it portends everyone who makes it on their own is a heartless and self-centered while those living on welfare are all noble, sad stories. Neither is true, but within this universe, it makes for a good ghost tale.

Love Hungry (originally aired February 21st, 1988)

"Your weight is over... no gimmicks, just guarantees".

Betsy Cowland loves food; she can never seem to stop eating. After a blind date with a former classmate, Betsy makes it her mission to shed some pounds. Unable to do so on her own, she tries Weight Away, a mysterious new diet plan made up of an ear-piece and a pair of glasses... both of which have bizarre side-effects enabling you to lose weight and keep it off.... forever.

One of the most disturbing DARKSIDE tales ever conceived contains some of the blackest comedy imaginable. An incredibly grotesque story of a fat woman so desperate to lose weight, that her last resort results in her death... after her food comes to life and begs her not to eat them! 'Love Hungry' distinguishes its cruelty by literally torturing its main character whose only crime is loving food.

What's even more bizarre than this episode is the story by Roberts Gannaway (adapted into a teleplay by director John Strysik), a writer who went from his sole small screen horror credit to a lengthy career at Disney. His work on DARKSIDE is the flip-side of his prolific kid-friendly work with animated animals; here it's talking nourishment in the form of muppet fruits and fridge food. 'Love Hungry' is food for thought (the original title of Gannaway's short), never wasting any of its potential.

The Apprentice (originally aired May 1st, 1988)

"Please remove everything... no sign of the 20th century allowed."

Sarah McBride gets a job at Colonial Village where the 17th century comes alive in 1986. Believing she's being hired for a tourist attraction promoting the life and times of the Puritans, she is unknowingly transported back to Salem in 1692 where she's accused of being a witch.

Eleanor Gaver directs a tale of dire culture clash from a teleplay by Ellen Sandhaus. There's a modicum of suspense built you don't need to be a clairvoyant to know this young, out-of-time lady isn't going to come to a good end. The big reveal during the conclusion makes the whole story more substantive. Sandhaus's script is a mini-diatribe against oldeworld theology branded with the motto, 'you must do evil to do good'. It's an interesting premise although the lead actress isn't entirely likable, but isn't a heretic, either.

There's a funny scene at the beginning when Sarah (Haviland Morris of SIXTEEN CANDLES and GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH) says to her "employer", Thomas, "I love the past, don't you?" He agrees with a 'yes', accompanied by a sly, ironic smile as he flips a light switch and a small bulb in a candle turns on.

The Cutty Black Sow (originally aired May 8th, 1988)

"And the fire burned through the night on All Hallows' Even... the fire that kept away the Cutty Black Sow. Kept it away from any soul who died on that witches' night...."

Little Jaime's great grandmother, a native of Scotland, is on her death-bed. Before she expires she warns Jaime of the Cutty Black Sow and how to protect himself and his family from this Scottish demon. Requiring he assemble a series of stones, the only way to keep the monster away is by keeping the marked stones within a circle of fire. However, should one of the stones ever leave the circle, that person is doomed.

Hands down the scariest episode of DARKSIDE to ever creep onto the airwaves. Curiously, this segment--taking place the day before and on Halloween--didn't debut in the more appropriate month of October. Ed French (assisted by Ken Walker) created the title pig from hell.

Based on Thomas F. Monteleone's 1984 short story of the same name, the folkloric monster is of Welsh origin, but changed to Scottish for this episode. The old lady's diction of "All Hallows' Even" is said to be the Scottish pronunciation. Michael McDowell's adaptation of Monteleone's story follows the legend closely, deviating from some details. According to the superstition, villagers would burn big bonfires on Halloween and throw marked stones in them. When the fire down, the revelers would run for their lives to avoid being snatched by the Devil Pig, a female sow with red eyes, walking upright, roamed the countryside seeking souls to collect. The next day they would search for their stone; if it was still within the circle, good luck came to them--if it was missing, bad luck or death was in their future. 

Do Not Open This Box (originally aired May 15th, 1988)

Charles Pennywell an inventor and junkman who runs a shop with Ruth, his nagging, greedy wife. Finding a box that was left by mistake, Ruth grabs it and opens it despite the words, 'Do Not Open This Box' on the lid. Finding nothing inside, she tosses it aside. Moments later, a deliveryman shows up looking for that very same box. Feigning to not know where it is, Ruth lies and promises the deliveryman they'll look for his misplaced box if he does something in return.... for Ruth, her gluttony and deception comes at a price.

Jodie Foster's directorial debut is a witty number that puts a spin on the ole Devil-as-Soul-Collector plotline. Writers Franco Amurri and Bob Balaban have fashioned a 'Just Desserts' Tale worthy of Rod Serling but with a modern, Spielbergian touch to it. Eileen Heckart is a wonderfully intemperate hag whose whole life has, by her own estimation, been wastefully spent with her husband who has never aspired for anything more than being a junkman longing to invent a useful device. By episode's end, he does indeed invent something that comes in handy for the supernatural deliveryman. The show closes on a delightful note wherein Charles is about to finally enjoy a slice of life... and, in a final bit of metaphoric humor, a piece of Devil's Food Cake.

Family Reunion (originally aired May 28th, 1988)

Robert Perry has left his wife Janice and taken their son with him, claiming the boy needs to be cured of some illness. Portending he's kidnapped and abusing their son, Janice puts child's services and the police on their trail. But what's ailing Bobby runs in the family.

Tom Savini's third and last of his DARKSIDE directed segments is another monster-centric showcase. Yet again, Savini shows the same deft hand in the director's chair as he did creating monsters and slasher victims. After helming stories on midget closet creatures and Halloween goblins, Savini turns his attentions to a Lycanthropic family affair. One of the finest episodes of the series, the teleplay by Edithe Swensen gives away the boy's deadly "sickness" early on, but throws a curve-ball your way towards the conclusion. 

Savini created the makeup FX with Mike Maddi (who worked on two other entries and several movies like FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER) applying it. Patricia Tallman, Barbara in the remake of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, plays Janice Perry. Fangoria #47 and a poster for CREEPSHOW (1982) puts in cameo appearances.

Tales of Missed Opportunities: The Dotted Line

The Deal (Originally aired February 28th, 1988)

"I'm the real stuff... and the Devil can do anything he wants... for a price."

A struggling writer named Tom Dash would do anything to make it in Hollywood. Living in a low-rent apartment building, his neighbor, Donald, promises him success if only he'd sign over his soul to him.

Another 'Sell Your Soul To the Devil' scenario. Akin to season two's 'Printer's Devil', but not nearly as witty, it took two writers for this do-over. Allen Garfield's interpretation of Old Scratch is different from the norm--disguising himself as a few different characters; occasionally sporting Devil horns and a ridiculous tail that curls upward from underneath his robe. Unlike the above-mentioned, similar episode from season two, the ending here is predictable. A decent entry, only a derivative one.

Producer T.J. Castronovo (the gangster from 'No Strings') sits in the director's chair for his second time on DARKSIDE.

Tales of Missed Opportunities: Hell To Pay

The Yattering and Jack (originally aired November 8th, 1987) 

"He broke rule #1... you mustn't touch the damned until they are damned, so now he's mine!"

A midget demon attempts to drive Jack Polo, a pickle salesman, insane and steal his soul on Christmas; only he fails miserably. The demon summons Beelzebub as to how to proceed, but Jack proves a bit too smart for the pint-sized hellion. Forcing him to inadvertently break one of Hell's Commandments, the Yattering becomes Jack's slave.

There's a really funny story buried beneath one of Darkside's most disappointing episodes. Barker adapted the teleplay from his own short story from his Books of Blood volume 1 first published in 1984. Barker wasn't satisfied with the result since there's much more sexuality in his material that didn't make it to the television version. Regardless, there's plenty of his patented S&M imagery on display. Both the Yattering and Beelzebub wear studded collars (the sound of whips can be heard when ole Beel' appears!). The demon's reasoning for snatching Jack's soul is poorly written, with barely an explanation during the final moments. The turkey dinner that comes to life is a series low-point. 'The Yattering and Jack' is one of those instances where the printed page fails at being ported over to the visual medium.

Originally intended as the Christmas episode for season three, it was replaced by the superior and scary 'Seasons of Belief' while the 'Yattering' yuck-fest was bumped up to season four. 

With the end of TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE's fourth and final season, this brings our look back at this popular TV series to a close. But never fear.... "The Darkside is always there--waiting for us to enter, waiting to enter us.... so until next time, try to enjoy the daylight!"

The Best of Tales From the Darkside Season 3

Season Two of TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE was another late-night success ensuring a 3rd season would creep up on ya' the next year. The DARKSIDE was so popular, the financiers ordered not one, but two seasons worth of programming; so 42 episodes were produced--24 for season three and 18 for season four. While the style and variety of the series remained largely unchanged, the opening title font was altered from a blood-dripping text to one with a Gothic appeal.

The Circus (originally aired September 28th, 1986)

Brash newspaper reporter Mr. Bragg takes his job seriously; so seriously that he receives great joy in exposing various sideshow charlatans for his paper. On one particularly dark and stormy night, a car accident brings him to Dr. Nis's Exhibition of Wonder, a carnival he's diligently pursued for review for a long time. Run by the sinister Dr. Nis, Bragg quickly learns there's nothing fake about Nis's grotesque attractions.

George Romero's second teleplay for his popular 80s horror series is one of the most FX-heavy, and certainly darkest, of the entire run. Every season opener up to now piled on the ghouls and 'The Circus' keeps with that tradition. Directed by Michael Gornick (season two's 'The Devil's Advocate'), it is unique in that it's a mini-Universal Monster Mash. There's a vampire, a werewolf, a reanimated Frankenstein-style monster, and a mummy. One shot is a surprisingly gruesome homage to Stuart Gordon's zombie classic, RE-ANIMATOR (1985).

William Hickey (before he was the PUPPET MASTER in 1989) is fantastic as Mr. Nis (pronounced 'Neese'). Ed French, who played the vampire and the reanimated creature, did the makeup FX with James Chai (FRANKENHOOKER [1990]) assisting. Hope Perello's HOWLING VI: THE FREAKS (1991) expanded on the idea of a monster-filled freakshow. 'The Circus' is a ghoulish attraction, and a great opening act for season three.

The Geezenstacks (originally aired October 26th, 1986)

"...I think there's something odd about Audrey's dolls."

A relative of the Hummel family, a real estate agent, gives their daughter Audrey a large dollhouse left behind by residents of an empty home. Almost immediately, strange things begin to occur. Sam Hummel finds that whatever imaginary activities Audrey entertains with the dolls spills over into reality.

A macabre spin on the killer doll theme, Bill Travis (his second of four episodes) directs with such precision, this could've easily been stretched out to feature length. Subtle tension and an unusually good, melancholic music score creep the show along to its shock finish. The doll designers redefine sinister by giving the Geezenstacks a supernatural quality with their blank, evil faces. Craig Wasson (NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS [1986]) is the family bread winner who quickly notices something seriously wrong with their daughter's new toys. A modern day fairy tale of the darkest kind.

Black Widows (originally aired November 2nd, 1986)

"I feel like I just swallowed a horse... without chewing." 

Mildred Webster and her daughter Audrey live in a California trailer park. Audrey's mother seems to have a negative view of men, bearing a dim view of her daughter being engaged to a very thin man. What Audrey doesn't yet know is that the women in her family are literal black widows, embroiled in a web of murder.

Quirky from beginning to end, 'Black Widows' subverts adolescence, puberty, and sex into a darkly comical coming-of-age horror story. A young spider woman who hasn't yet realized she's a genuine man-eater, grows into maturity while growing a culinary taste for the opposite sex. The mother and daughter discuss "boys" in a way totally unlike mothers explaining to their daughters about womanhood and where babies come from. 

Since they're arachnids who occasionally occupy human bodies, we never see a full-sized spider, but FX man Bryan Moore manages some spider claws and a corpse drained of its fluids.

Baker's Dozen (originally aired November 23rd, 1986)

Advertiser Henry Hogan wants to move up in the world and desires to know the secret ingredient in Ruby Cuzzins's cookies. Upon learning she's a bayou voodoo priestess, Hogan uses a Baker's Dozen of accursed cookies to eliminate obstacles keeping him from the top of the ad agency ladder. When Ruby discovers what Hogan has done, she plots a sweet tasting revenge... yet receives her own just desserts in the end.

George Romero's fourth and last writing credit for this series is as good as his previous three. All four are uniformly dark, but varied in plot. Much like Savini's exceptional skill as a director on TALES, it's a shame Romero didn't contribute more stories... a Romero zombie segment would've been fantastic. His exposition is extraordinarily strong in 'Baker's Dozen'; it's so robust, the episode could've been stretched to feature-length what with the mini-arcs of Hogan's perceived infidelity and Cuzzins's hatred for her father, who works as her janitor.

None of the characters are free of guilt; Larry Manetti (of MAGNUM P.I. fame), seen previously in season 2's 'Printer's Devil', is sympathy-free as Hogan. Ruby Cuzzins is one of DARKSIDEs prime villainess's. Mabel King (GANJA AND HESS; THE WIZ; THE GONG SHOW MOVIE) is utterly terrifying as the proprietor of the black magic bakery. The double twist ending is a gory highlight even if comeuppance of the two antagonists (there's no real protagonist) isn't shown in graphic detail.

Seasons of Belief (originally aired December 29th, 1986)

"The only people who have ever seen The Grither, are the people he's eaten up."

Impatiently sitting around the fireplace on Christmas Eve, two children wish to hear a story so their father spins the sordid tale of The Grither, a nasty monster that lives in the Arctic. The father warns his kids should they utter his name, The Grither will come for them. The young son, Jimbo and his sister Stefa scoff at the notion of The Grither being real; but as the wind howls louder and strange sounds are heard in the night, an unlikely visitor makes believers out of them.

Outside of Romero, Michael McDowell was arguably the best writer on DARKSIDE--not counting novelists like Robert Bloch who contributed to the series. McDowell's work graces 11 episodes; most of which are on these lists. A really good entry, he both wrote (adapted from a story by Michael Bishop) and directed--this being his only directing credit. Foreshadowing future Christmas horror like KRAMPUS (2015), 'Seasons of Belief' quietly builds its menace till exploding in a monstrously violent, shock finish.

E.G. Marshall, Mr. Pratt from the memorable 5th segment of CREEPSHOW (1982), plays the father with an all-too real imagination.

My Ghostwriter, the Vampire (originally aired February 1st, 1987)

Struggling horror writer Peter Prentice receives an unusual proposition from a vampire... 900 years of bloodsucker stories in exchange for "living quarters" within his apartment.

One of the best of the humorous TALES has a darker edge to it than some of the outright lighter toned segments. Frank De Palma (in his 7th of 8 shows he helmed) moves everything along at a fair clip. The actors' delivery are key to this episode's success. For example, Jeff Conaway's Peter Prentice is woefully unlikable but the teleplay and his performance make him likable.

Roy Dotrice is especially good as Count Draco, a French jugular drainer who quickly grasps the American Way once he realizes Prentice is making big bucks off his toothy tales. A great bit has Prentice's apartment containing a hidden room; the way to access it is via a dummy noggin with an axe buried in its forehead! Essentially, this is a modified version of season 2's 'Printer's Devil'.

The Swap (originally aired March 3rd, 1987) 

Bubba, a disease-riddled millionaire, is married to a beautiful younger woman who has the hots for Claude the hunky handyman. The son of a Louisiana bayou sorceress, Bubba is tinkering around with the 'Transmigration of the Spirits' spell, but one of the key ingredients is faded in his momma's old magic book. Demanding his wife Annabelle "play house" with him every night if she wants his millions once he kicks the bucket, both Annabelle and Claude conspire to speed the process along.

DARKSIDE carved out its own identity but certain segments often felt like they'd fit comfortably within the framework of the THE TWILIGHT ZONE; or the award winning TALES FROM THE CRYPT cable series adapted from the old Tales From the Crypt comic books. In the case of 'The Swap', it feels exactly like the sort of story presented in the latter. Similar to the Crypt tale from issue #45 from 1954, 'The Switch', this Richard Benner penned story is knee-deep in greed and bodily desire. One of the more uncomfortable episodes, the grody appearance of Bubba with his pus-infused sores, humpback, and Acromegaly of the hands and feet are suitably grotesque. Ed French (assisted by James Chai) once more created the unpleasant makeup FX.

Tales of Missed Opportunities: Thieving is believing

Heretic (originally aired November 9th, 1986)

A thieving art dealer named Harte gets his hands on a priceless 16th century painting excavated from the ruins of a Spanish monastery. Visited one evening by a mysterious monk to return the items, he refuses, suddenly finding himself before an inquisitor demanding he repent for his crimes lest he suffer for eternity.

A morality tale about the 'greedy vs. the needy', Edith Swensen's 6th of 10 TALES begins strong but confesses its sin of failing to finish on a satisfying note. One of the more abrupt endings, it's as if Ms. Swensen hadn't the time to properly end the segment. The shooting schedules were reportedly so tight, they'd be filming while the next set was being constructed. Regardless, despite the eerie painting being a major plot point, the story doesn't quite end the way you might be thinking.

The melding of St. Bartholomew with a Spanish Inquisition angle makes for interesting storytelling, if only the ending could convince a jury of viewers. Roberts Blossom, Ezra Cobb of DERANGED (1974), is the Inquisitor.

Tales of Missed Opportunities: Black Magic Women

Auld Acquaintances (originally aired March 1st, 1987)

Two witches make a pact they will share a powerful, demonic talisman for an entire year before passing it on to the other. Three hundred years later, they meet as usual only one of them is impatient to wait two more weeks for the stars to be properly aligned for the transfer.

Arguably the wittiest script from Edithe Swensen, this was her 9th of 10 DARKSIDE jobs. Easily one of the best 'single-set' episodes, the entirety of the 21+ minutes is the two ladies bickering between centuries over the talisman. The banter between them is good; the disparities between them well drawn. Mary Hobbs, the more homely of the two, is content being the pop culture witch while Elizabeth Eaton uses her powers for an easy lifestyle and success. with nods to the Salem Witch Trials of 1692. The show moves along at a quick pace, taking advantage of the limited resources. It's played for mild laughs but never outright farcical as is the case with so many entries in this series. Still, it's such a basic premise with nothing overly fantastical, nor visually disturbing that most won't find much of interest.

The third season of horror has come to an end. Fantastic creatures and supernatural shenanigans are soon to return for the fourth and final season.... until next time, try to enjoy the daylight!

The Best of Tales From the Darkside Season 2

Season one was successful enough that TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE could haunt viewers for another year. Much of the same filmmakers returned as did the atmosphere and resemblance in the types of stories. It being a syndicated show, the producers and filmmakers were able to have much greater freedom than they would have had a major network. Season two brought another set of 24 episodes, produced simultaneously at two different production houses on the East and West Coast. At the time, Laurel Entertainment had a very ambitious slate, using DARKSIDE as a springboard to launch their stable of filmmakers into feature films. Few of their proposed theatrical features came to fruition--they failed to resurrect Dr. Phibes for a third time, while CREEPSHOW 2 crept onto theater screens in 1987. Regardless, season two was another success, with a little more polish than its debut season.

SEASON 2

Parlour Floor Front (originally aired October 20th, 1985)

"If I am responsible for this thing... let me be cursed. If another is responsible for this thing... let THEM be cursed."

Linda and her husband Doug have recently bought an old apartment house with a beautiful parlor room. Spending a ton of money to remodel the entire building, they've managed to peaceably evict the remaining tenants save for one named Mars Gillis, the kindly janitor who has lived there before they purchased the building. Occupying the best room in the house, Mars doesn't wish to move. The couple can't force him out due to rent control laws. Linda wants Mars gone and devises a despicable scheme to get rid of him. A practicing voodoo priest, Linda's actions have grave consequences.

The second, and best, of Richard Friedman's DARKSIDE tales is an effective voodoo story with an ending reminiscent of the folktale 'The Golden Arm'--substituting a ring for the gold-plated limb. The scenario likewise recalls the absolutely terrifying closer in Mario Bava's classic triple threat, THE THREE FACES OF FEAR (BLACK SABBATH in the US) from 1963. Ernest Dickerson (having been with the series since season 1), later to become a director in his own right, was the DP.

Tragically, Adolph Caesar would die from a heart attack on the set of the Disney feature, TOUGH GUYS (1986) on March 6th, 1986--roughly five months after this episode debuted. He was only 52 years old. One of his two daughters, Tiffani Caesar, plays a young lady (she was only 15 at the time) who comes to Mars for a love spell. Adolph Ceasar's unique, gravely voice graced a number of 70s Drive-in and exploitation movie trailers including KARATE WARRIORS (1976) and DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978).

Halloween Candy (originally aired October 27th, 1985)

Grumpy Mr. Killup hates Halloween; and if there's one thing Mr. Killup hates more than Halloween it's trick r' treaters. After refusing his son's wishes to hand out candy, the old man is tormented the rest of the night by a nasty goblin creature doling out tricks and treats of its own.

It's a shame Tom Savini couldn't have directed a lot more DARKSIDE shows. He helmed three of them and this, his second, is another stellar example of the series. It's a particularly nasty segment that ends on a satisfyingly disturbing note. The scenes of roaches scurrying around in the house recall the fifth story in CREEPSHOW (1982). Savini was responsible for the Makeup FX, assisted by Ed French. Among the FX crew are Howard Berger and Gregory Nicotero, future founders (along with Robert Kurtzman) of KNB EFX Group in 1988.

In Fangoria #48 from October 1985, it is reported that Tyler Smith (GEEK MAGGOT BINGO monster maker) contributed a full-body goblin costume for this episode although he's not billed in the end credits.

The Devil's Advocate (originally aired November 10th, 1985)

"I been listenin' to you for a long time. You call yourself 'The Devil's Advocate'. Well you sound more like the Devil himself. I hope everybody stops listenin' to you, and I hope people start callin' in! And you have to just sit there, wherever you are, and rot till the end of time!!!" 

The abrasive talk radio host Luther Mandrake, The Devil's Advocate, is on air at midnight. Hated by many of his listeners, Mandrake is in rare form on this particular night. With each aggressive rant Mandrake begins to change; his physical form taking on the frustration and rage building up inside of him. It isn't long before Mandrake finds himself in his own private Hell.

George Romero penned this psycho-supernatural creeper directed by Michael Gornick (CREEPSHOW 2 [1987]). In it, comedian Jerry Stiller is a one-man-show as the overbearing Mandrake, a man who barks at his callers and belittles them with aplomb. Masterfully handled for the duration, Romero's piece recalls another devilish DJ from an old NIGHT GALLERY episode, 'The Flip Side of Satan' starring Arte Johnson. With their low budgets and short shooting schedules, TALES had a lot of episodes with limited sets and cast; this is one of the best examples of surpassing limited resources. The story and its twist has been done dozens of times, and Gornick's effort is a highlight of the form.

A New Lease On Life (originally aired January 26th, 1986)

"You take care of the St. George, and the St. George will take care of you."

Mr. Archie Fenton has just moved into the St. George apartment building. At just $200 a month, Mr. Fenton can't figure out why it's so cheap; at least not till after he meets his kooky landlord, Madam Angler. Fenton signed a lifetime lease, and with it, a bunch of bizarre rules he eventually breaks. Once his neighbor, Ms. Tanner disappears, Fenton begins to notice what it is about the St. George building that makes it special.

One of the most enjoyable of the blackly humorous TALES, it's also one of the most unconventional within the DARKSIDE universe. This episode operates within a world outside of anything remotely normal. For example, Fenton questions the bizarre things he sees (the building shaking; blood pouring from the walls when he tries to hang a picture; wine pouring from the faucet as opposed to water), but then he shrugs them off. If director John Strysik had played it entirely straight, it wouldn't have worked. A Lovecraftian take on 'St. George and the Dragon', Harvey Jacob's teleplay isn't keen on explanations so much as it is about incidentals. Madam Angler and her two stooges are a peculiar, motley trio bearing an unmentioned, and ornate, tattoo of a dragon; the same dragon adorns patches on their clothes and even a book of matches. A subplot dealing with an equally unstable neighbor, like everything else at the St. George, does little to get a rise out of Mr. Fenton--the cheapness of the rent is just too much to pay attention at the over-powering weirdness going on around him. The twist at the end (which you'll see coming very early on) isn't hard to digest.

Printer's Devil (originally aired February 6th, 1986)

Junior Harmon, a struggling writer, gets the chance at the success that has eluded him when an eccentric publisher named Alex Kellaway makes him an offer at stardom.... it only requires animal sacrifices for him to succeed.

Frequent Romero collaborator John Harrison both wrote the teleplay and directed this darkly humorous tale of soul-selling and devil-dealing. This scenario comes up a few times in this series; Harrison's go at the material is the quirkiest take of those. There's light humor dotting the episode, yet, unlike other entries with comedy (and there's lots of them), it never circumvents the eeriness prevalent throughout. The shocker twist at the end is a striking change of pace for the familiar material.

If Larry Manetti looks familiar to Drive-in fans that's because he was among the cast in the Filipino exploit-actioner SUDDEN DEATH (1977) starring Robert Conrad, Don Stroud and Felton Perry. Mainstreamers will know him best as Rick on MAGNUM PI (1980-1988). Charles Knapp is a delight as the jovially off-kilter fat man whose contracts bring great wealth and fame to those who sign, but the Devil is in the details.

The Last Car (originally aired February 23rd, 1986)

Stacey, a young lady traveling home the day before Thanksgiving, awaits the train in the dead of night. Once aboard, she finds the last car mostly empty save for three curious occupants.

It's refreshing when you come across a DARKSIDE show that is pure horror with nary a funny moment in sight. The gloomy entries are outnumbered by the darkly comical ones--possibly one way of getting around having to tone it down even with the freedom provided by the program's syndication model. 'The Last Car', as predictable as it is, unsettles the viewer from the first frame to the last.

It's a shame John Strysik didn't go on to a bigger career as a director; he was one of the most consistent in his TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE episodes. Michael McDowell wrote a healthy amount of DARKSIDE's best, including this funereal story that has been well represented elsewhere, particularly the original TWILIGHT ZONE (1959-1964). This is the third example of Strysik's work in this 4-part 'Best Of' series.

Strange Love (originally aired May 11th, 1986)

"My name is Edmund Alcott. I was born in the same year as your country... 1776. My wife and I are vampires. Creatures of the night. Forever undead!"

Doctor Carrol is brought to the home of Edmund Alcott to see to his wife, Marie's, injured leg. Unknown to him, his late-night clients are vampires. Enslaved by his captors, Marie takes a liking to more than the doctor's blood.

Erotic thrillers exploded in the 1990s after the success of such films as FATAL ATTRACTION (1987) and BASIC INSTINCT (1992). Outside of BODY HEAT (1981) and BODY DOUBLE (1984), the sub-genre wasn't prolific in the 1980s. This edition of TALES is an example of small screen erotica but with vampires. Theodore Gershuny's fourth of five directed episodes is terribly anachronistic--the setting is supposed to be 1935 yet the decor looks 1980s--but is bolstered by some savvy lighting and Edithe Swensen's sexy script. Unlike the usually downbeat erotic template it's following, things only go badly for one character.

An early role for Marcia Cross, the stunningly beautiful actress later found fame in MELROSE PLACE (1992-1997) and DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (2004-2012). In 1989, she played Rebecca Howe's sister, a horror movie actress, in a great episode of CHEERS, 'Sisterly Love'. Likewise, this was an early role for Patrick Kilpatrick; especially in that he's playing the role of a victimized hero. Making his feature-film debut in THE TOXIC AVENGER (1984), he was perfect for the many bad guy roles he would undertake.

TALES of Missed Opportunities: There's Something About Mary....

The Trouble With Mary Jane (originally aired November 24th, 1985)

"I am not Mary Jane. I am Aisha Candisha, and I do not want any chicken soup! I want men's souls to eat!"

A husband and wife team of palm readers try to pass themselves off as exorcists to land $50,000... if only they can rid Mary Jane's body of Aisha Candisha, a man-eating, goat-footed, soul-stealing demon. Fumbling their way through the process, Jack and Nora Mills complicate matters when they summon an additional demon named Gads, a male demon who immediately butts horns with Aisha.

The first full-fledged comedy episode of season two benefits heavily from the casting of Tierney and Diller. Directed by T.J. Castronovo, it's a spoof of THE EXORCIST (1973); and the first of ten episodes written by Edithe Swensen. You'll get an occasional giggle here and there, but the scenario grows stale before its predictable finish. Tanya Fenmore (from Spielberg's segment in TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE [1983]) is the possessed Mary Jane in an over the top performance worthy of a silent movie.

TALES of Missed Opportunities: Grin and Bear It

Ursa Minor (originally aired December 1st, 1985)

For her birthday, little Susie receives a stuffed Teddy Bear; but this isn't any ordinary stuffed animal. Containing an evil ursine spirit, strange things begin to occur around the house prompting Susie's mother to try and dispose of the toy.

Theodore Gershuny, the director of SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT (1972), wrote and directed this mildly engaging segment. There's a bit more human drama than normal--Susie's dad is an alcoholic and her mother's struggles are close to paying off; only things are complicated by a stuffed animal harboring a malevolent force. Even with the eerie music and sound effects, it's difficult to make Teddy Ruxpin scary. The horror is ratcheted up for a ferocious finish when the bear goes on a mini-rampage. One of the more frightening finales in this series, only it's preceded by 20 minutes of tepidness.

With the sunrise, we close the coffin on our look back at season two. More dark delights are found in season three. "Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight!"